Touchstone
by Sunlight through Leaves
Summary: Kakairu 'And when we fall through their window in the dead of the night, bleeding all over their stuff, we need someone who will yell at us for being an idiot, but will still treat our wounds and keep us from dying in the middle of their living room.'
1. Choice

In the darkest moments of our lives, we need a solid rock to brace our backs against; we need someone to hold us and tell us everything will be alright. And when we fall through their window in the middle of the night, bleeding all over their stuff, we need someone who will yell at us for being an idiot, but will still treat our wounds and keep us from dying in the middle of their living room.

_**Touchstone**_

Anime: Naruto

Pairing: Kakairu (of course, do I write anything else? Heh, gotta work on that)

Will be rated M for a reason, but I'll warn you when it happens so you can skip the chapter if you want!

All the credit for this idea goes to SumiHatake! The only thing I did was steal it and write a bad first chapter. But enjoy anyway!

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"Explain to me how you got these wounds." Tsunade's voice was low, angry and not overly patient.

Kakashi continued to stare through the window at the darkening sky outside; his mind far away from his current and rather dangerous predicament. Tsunade's fingers were knuckle deep in one of the long scratches the raked down the length of his side. If she wanted to, the legendary sannin could make the bandaging absolute hell with just a slip of her finger.

But Tsunade seemed to resist the urge to cause undue pain, and as she pulled her fingers free, trailing healing chakra behind them, she spread her hand, running her fingers down the five, almost parallel cuts. Kakashi flinched slightly away from the prolonged contact along his bare side. "This almost looks like…" She mused quietly. Kakashi ignored her; a discussion of the wounds' origin would only make the situation more troublesome.

After the prolonged silence, Tsunade heaved an enormous sigh. "Alright, if you don't want to tell me, don't." She stepped back and waved her hand in the general direction of the door. "Go home."

Even before he stepped out into the darkness beyond the hospital room, he heard her snap, "And don't get hurt on the way there!"

OOOOOOOOOOO

"You want me to WHAT?!" Shizune protested. "I'm not going to break into Kakashi-san's house!"

The Gondaime made a face, glaring at the sake she was swirling around in the bottom of her half-empty glass. "I need to know what's going on. That one injury was not from his mission, and if he's not going to tell me about it, you're going to find out for me."

"I…what?" Shizune gaped at her. "Do you really want me to break into a jounin's, who's a former ANBU I might add, house? I'll be lucky if I survive past the front door!"

Tsunade smiled wickedly, "Tell you what; I'll bet that you don't make it back."

As the door closed behind her, Shizune wondered vaguely why that wasn't nearly as comforting as it should have been.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

After two hours of running her hands along the edges of the worn door, Shizune decided that Kakashi hadn't actually placed any traps on his front door. She knew his predilection for coming in through windows and figured that he rarely used the normal entrance. _Seems safe though…_ She pulled out a long, flat kunai and jiggled it in the lock, listening closely for the sound of the mechanism turning over.

When the lock clicked open, she paused for a moment, wondering if she should really go into Kakashi's house. As far as she knew, Kakashi had never invited anyone in here, and if the man went to such lengths to always hide his face, she found it hard to believe that he would appreciate her invading his private sanctuary.

But on the other hand, if she didn't do it, Tsunade would kick her ass.

Well, it really wasn't a choice after all, was it? The door slid smoothly open, but she barely made it to steps inside when something large, furry and very drooly landed squarely on her chest, knocking her to the ground and driving all the air out of her lungs.

"I believe that friendly humans usually knock, correct?" The deep, growly voice took her by surprise, and she could just see dark eyes past the enormous pink tongue that was panting bare inches from her face.

"Ano, I, uh…" Shizune gasped slightly, trying to get some air back into her lungs. "I'm sorry?" That seemed to be the correct response, and as the weight shifted slightly off her chest and some of the blood rushed north to her head, allowing her to successfully interpret the situation. "You're one of Kakashi-san's nin-dogs, right?"

"Name's Bull." The enormous dog may have lifted some of the pressure from her lungs, but he didn't show any sign of moving off of her in the near future. "What do you want?"

She thought about lying for about a half a second, but the canines poking out from the corner of the dog's mouth suggested that she should probably tell the truth or risk getting eaten. "Kakashi-san had an injury that wasn't from his mission. My master wanted me to find out how he got it."

"I scratched him."

"You…what?" She hadn't really expected a response.

The dog sat back on her hips, tongue lolling out, and she could have sworn that he was laughing at her.

"Why would you do that?" Shizune took the opening that the dog had given, and slid out from under his bulk, pulling herself into a sitting position.

"He lost it." Bull gave a full body shrug. "Punched a hole through the wall and ripped out some of the pluming in his bathroom. He seems to like this place, and we think it's much more comfortable than sleeping outside. We figured we should stop him." The nin-dogs clearly figured that ripping up Kakashi's side was the best solution to dealing with post-mission trauma.

Shizune stood up slowly, holding her hands out to keep the enormous dog at ease. "Thank you. That's all I needed to know." She felt hysterical laughter bubbling at the base of her throat when the dog stood up, his head coming almost even with her chest. "I-I-I'll just be going now."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"Kakashi, get in here!" Tsunade's voice rattled the door on its hinges.

Kakashi slouched into the hokage's office, tucking his book into his belt pouch as he came in. "Maaaa, Hokage-sama, you wanted to see me?"

"You're getting a touchstone. Now." The tone brooked for no argument.

"I don't need a touchstone, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi, who was never one for reading conversational subtext, protested anyway. "I've completed all of my ANBU missions just fine, and I've never had any post-mission issues."

Tsunade slammed the book she was flipping through down on the desk. "You call destroying your bathroom okay?'

"You went in my house?!" Kakashi snapped, furious at her.

"No."

The anger evaporated to be replaced by utter confusion; she was telling the truth. "Then, how…?"

The Gondaime flipped the pages of the book on her desk surrounded by an air of disinterest. "Shizune went into your house." She leaned forward, talking over Kakashi's unintelligible, irritated stammering. "Kakashi. You will pick a touchstone by tomorrow morning, or I will assign one for you. I know how secretive you are, so I really don't think you want me to do that."

The jounin ground his teeth together and stalked out of the room.

OOOOOOOOOO

He was so busy seething at the Gondaime's insistence on him picking a touchstone that he didn't even notice the other man until they smacked shoulders.

"Ah, gomen, Kakashi-sensei." He turned around to the person he'd hit, and saw Iruka smiling apologetically up at him, one hand reaching up to shift his bag back onto his shoulder. The chuunin peered closely at him, as if checking for injury, and then continued on his way down the street, leaving Kakashi with one thought bouncing cheerily around his brain.

_No, Kakashi. Bad, terrible, horrible, awful idea! _He mentally slapped himself. There was no way that Iruka would ever agree to it, and the scarring involved in explaining the role of a touchstone would practically guarantee that Iruka would never associate with him again.

Unfortunately, once his mind got a hold of an idea, it never let go.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning found Kakashi crouched on the balcony outside the hokage's office, trying to ignore the fact that he had been staring at the same page for the past twenty minutes, ever since he had submitted Iruka's name to Tsunade.

"_Have you picked someone?"_

_Kakashi shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, wondering how this was going to go over. "Umino Iruka."_

_Tsunade looked up from her paperwork, one eyebrow arching upwards. "Iruka, huh?" She sat silent for a moment, then cocked her head to one side and smiled softly. "It's not a bad choice, actually."_

_Kakashi figured he should be a little offended that she sounded so surprised, but he was too taken aback by the fact that she agreed with him._

"_I'll call him up." She flipped through some papers in a draw, finally pulling one out of a folder and studying it. "Looks like he's on a break shortly. Do you want to explain it to him?"_

Kakashi groaned and shoved his book back into his weapon's pouch, knowing full well that he wasn't going to make any progress, and wondered why he was being such a chicken. After his encounter with the chuunin, Kakashi had tried desperately to think of someone, anyone else because he had been sure that Tsunade would call him ten types of stupid if he suggested Iruka.

But every single person he could list just seemed like an even worse idea.

Genma and Raidou had become an 'official couple' even though they hadn't actually announced it – except to him, but they'd both been drunk off their asses at the time, so Kakashi had decided not to spread that knowledge around – and they both went on almost as many missions as he did and so were more likely to be out of the village than in it whenever he came home. The same reasoning cut out any of the other ANBU members.

After checking them off the list, a vision in green spandex appeared in his mind's eye, and he shuddered. Gai was not even close to being an option; showing weakness to the man who was his 'rival' couldn't possibly go anywhere good. Besides he could already hear the speeches and the posing. He pushed that thought away.

Sakura was not only too young, but…. Well, the thought of post-traumatic-mission sex not only made him gag, but also made him want to lock himself in a small, padded room for the rest of his natural life. Sure Sakura had grown up in the past few years, but he would always see her as a 12 year-old genin who couldn't think of much else besides impressing Sasuke.

As he mentally lined out names on his list, he began to realize more and more that Iruka was really the only – perfect – choice. He was trustworthy, generally calm, and rarely seemed surprised. So if Kakashi fell through his window or landed on his doorstep in the middle of the night he had no doubt Iruka would be there ready to deal with whatever state he was in. He was almost oppressively cheerful, and if he'd been anyone else, he would probably have driven Kakashi nuts, but for some reason the chuunin's attitude was attractive.

Anyway, it was a good thing for a touchstone to have a positive outlook, because ANBU members generally needed a reminder that the world was not just death; it was life as well. And given the kindness and affection the man showered on a certain young blonde charge of his, he knew Iruka would never think him a monster, even when he was convinced that he was one.

But even so, Iruka had revealed a completely unshakeable side when it came to the things he believed in; he had stood up to Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai in front of the Sandaime and all the shinobi who were currently in the village because he did not want his students to be hurt unnecessarily. He had continued to stand up to Kakashi when the jounin had pushed the matter back at him – Kakashi still kicked himself for what he'd said that night; he'd been a real asshole – and when the argument ended, the scarred chuunin had remained foremost in Kakashi's mind for several days afterwards. He was completely shaken by the fact that he had been challenged by one of the lower-ranking shinobi.

Iruka fascinated him. He had passed by the chuunin's classroom one day and watched him go from a calm, lecturing sensei to furious when Konahamaru had set off an exploding tag in the back of the classroom. The more he saw of Iruka, the more he had realized that he wanted that stable instability in his life.

And Pakkun had already told him the man was single and Kakashi could find no evidence otherwise, as impossible as that seemed. Which was good because he was not interested in dealing with some silly civilian, kunoichi, or even another guy who got their undies in a twist over how he was demanding too much of Iruka's time or attention. It also meant that, if something happened, the only one he'd have to deal with afterwards would be the young sensei. And he certainly wasn't opposed to the idea of falling into bed with the rather attractive chunin.

Yes, Iruka was the best – only – choice for his touchstone.

But when the Hokage had suggested that he ask Iruka personally, he had practically tripped over himself in his rush to get out of the room. There was absolutely no way he could personally broach that topic. What if Iruka said no?

OOOOOOOOOO

Wheeee! Again, all credit goes to SumiHatake for the original idea for this. I promise I will explain what a touchstone is in the next chapter, but I just had to leave you hanging ;; eheh.

So, enthralled? Confused? Disappointed? Let me know!

Sunlight through Leaves


	2. Beginning

Holy #$&! I got the next chapter up within a week! What was it with Kept Secret? A month between each chapter? Ah well, I'm gonna try and stick to this. 

Enjoy!

Touchstone Chapter 2

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tsunade glanced out the window where she could just make out the very tips of silver hair poking up over the edge of the windowsill. She snickered into her tea. _Here's a man who has faced down countless enemies, and he's too scared to ask one of his fellow shinobi for a favor. I'm never gonna let him live this down._ The soft knocking on her door brought her out of her thoughts, and she smiled up at the chuunin as he leaned around the doorframe.

"Ohayo, Hokage-sama. Shizune said that you needed to see me." Iruka stopped in the open space between her desk and the door, as if he was unsure if he should come any closer.

She waived him forward, "Please, sit." She barely hid a smile when he perched on the very edge of the chair, hands shoved under his thighs and shoulders hunched up slightly. She could only guess at what was going through his mind, but the general rule was that if you got asked to sit down in the hokage's office, you were usually in trouble. Mission assignments took scarce minutes, so there was no point in settling in for the long haul. "Tea?"

Iruka accepted the cup and sipped it hesitantly, watching her as she drank deeply and stretched back into her chair. "So, Iruka, how much do you know about ANBU?"

"Eh? Just the basics." He leaned forward to set the glass down on the corner of her desk. "Why?'

"Have you ever heard the name 'touchstone'?" She studied his face, watching as the brows drew down and the chuunin thought about her question. After a few seconds, he shook his head.

"Alright, listen. Each active ANBU member has a person called a 'touchstone.' They're usually a trained medical shinobi or someone who's a close personal friend – boyfriend, girlfriend, etc – and their job is to keep their respective ANBU members sane." She leaned forward. "Do you understand why?"

Iruka nodded slowly, clearly processing the information that she had given him. "Intense missions tend to give shinobi tunnel vision. The only thing they can think about is completing the mission, and it's hard for them to get out of that mindset."

She nodded, leaning forward and lacing her hands together. "But the reality for an ANBU member is much worse. When they are pulled out of that mentality, they have to deal with what they've done. Being a touchstone means being there for them, both before and after they return to normality, allowing them to know that no matter what they've done, they're not alone. A touchstone needs to be competent, dependable, and strong, because one person relies solely on them to bring him back from the brink of darkness." She leaned forward, studying the play of emotions across his face, the most prominent of which was: what does this have to do with me? "Sarutobi-sensei held you in very high regard; he even asked for your advice on several occasions. Or at least that's what your file says."

She smiled as a blush spread across his checks, and he freed one hand to scratch at the bridge of his nose. "H-hai, Hokage-sama. Once or twice. But I'm not sure if I really understand…. You want me to be a touchstone?"

His eyes widened when she shook her head, "No, one of our ANBU wants you to be their touchstone."

OOOOOOOOOO

Pressed up against the wall underneath her window, Kakashi winced. _You couldn't have been a little more blunt, could you?_

OOOOOOOOOO

"One of...?" Iruka dropped his hand back to his lap, staring at Tsunade in disbelief. He wasn't even entirely sure that he personally knew any ANBU members. "Who?"

"Hatake Kakashi."

"Kakashi….sensei?" Iruka blinked slowly, trying to process all the new information. He didn't know the copy-nin very well – though he clearly remembered their encounter before the chuunin exam, and he found it very hard to believe that Kakashi considered him a competent, stable shinobi after that. Maybe Pakkun had put in some good words for him after the whole incident with Mizuki, but he hadn't really distinguished himself with that either. The single question in his mind made it past his lips before he could stop it, "Why?"

"I didn't ask. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can say no. We will find someone else."

Iruka looked up quickly from his contemplation of his hand "Ah, no, that's okay, hokage-sama." He felt the blush start to spread across his cheeks again. "It would be an honor. If Kakashi-san asked for me, then I'll do what I can to help one of our elite."

He watched Tsunade's gaze slide off him and over to the open window to his left, a small smile flickering across her lips, and he followed her line of sight, wondering why the shuttered windows across the street were so amusing.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka walked back to his classroom in a daze. He just couldn't fathom what had inspired Kakashi to ask for him, but what continued to nudge at the edge of his thoughts was the deeper fear that had settled in his heart and was repeating Tsunade's words over and over again. _One person relies solely on them… What if I fail?_ He had promised to do what he could for the jounin, but what if his best just wasn't good enough?

As he approached, he could hear a small ruckus of laughter and shouting coming from inside his classroom, though he barely noticed it, he was so caught up in his thoughts. His meeting with Tsunade had lasted a little longer than his free period, and the pre-genin had been left to their own devices for a good five minutes, which was easily long enough for them to turn the normally pristine classroom into something that more closely resembled ground zero of a large bomb. Sheer reflex caught the chalk-covered eraser that was shoved into the top track of the door, and he was only pulled out of his internal reflection when he heard an embarrassed coughing amid all the disappointed moans that their trick had failed.

"Ano, Iruka-sensei?" A petite girl with pigtails in the front row looked up at him, shoulders hunched over and looking particularly unhappy what the rest of her classmates had tried.

"Hai, Kamiko-chan?" She reminded him a lot of how Sakura used to be, and he was pretty sure that she would have been cheering – internally, of course – if they had succeeded.

She held out a folded piece of paper to him, "This was tapped to the door when we got here. I thought the others might hide it if I left it up there." She whipped around to glare at her companions when they started making rude noises and pulling faces.

"Ah, thank you." He thought about opening it, but the muffled pop and smell of smoke drifted up from the back of the classroom, and he slapped the note down on the edge of his desk, spinning around. "Sit down!" With a concerted effort, he shoved his worries about Kakashi and being his touchstone to the back of his brain; the most important thing now was keeping his classroom and students in one piece, which was, considering two of the boys in the back were pointing training knives at each other – where had they gotten those? – no easy feat.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The wind swept through the training area, rattling the adjacent chain-link fence and pushing the ends of Iruka's loose hair across his face. He wrinkled his nose as the ends tickled it and brushed them back, turning to survey the surrounding landscape before checking the folded paper again.

_1600 – meet Anko at training area 10_

While Anko was certainly more respectful of the human convention of time than Kakashi was, she was still known for habitually being a few minutes late. As he watched the hands on his watch tick past 1610, he wondered whether she had decided to take her lateness to the next level.

The kunai burying itself hilt-deep in the ground between his feet was definitely not what he'd expected.

He immediately followed the trajectory back and saw Anko standing in a tree not far from him, fists planted on her hips. "Iruka!"

"Anko-san?"

She leaned forward slightly, an evil smile licking around the corners of her mouth, "Dodge." She suggested.

"Eh?"

"Dodge, Iruka." The evil smile completely took over her expression. "I won't miss this time."

With that short warning, the attacks came fast and furious. He leapt backwards as another set of kunai hit the ground directly where he'd been standing, and he continued to backpedal as more weapons followed the first.

A shift in the air pressure drew his attention around to behind him, and he half-turned, barely seeing the snakes before they hit him, hard in the side. One final kunai thrown from the front imbedded itself in his shoulder, and he bit down on his lip to keep from gasping in pain as he crashed to the ground.

Anko's snort of disgust was the only break he got.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

By the time she'd finished, the sun had sank below the horizon, and he was on his hands and knees, panting for air and starting to realize how a pincushion usually felt. He didn't even have enough energy to raise his head when her feet came into his peripheral vision. "W….w….why…are we doing this?"

Anko settled down in front of him, crossing her legs, "Sometimes, the ANBU cannot recognize that he's returned home; he cannot distinguish between his touchstone and an enemy. Touchstone's get hurt on a fairly regular basis, at the hands of their ANBU."

Iruka slowly righted himself into a kneeling position, pushing his hair back with an enormous sigh. "So you're training me to dodge?" He resisted the urge to point out that if the copy nin decided he was an enemy, no amount of training with Anko would keep him alive.

Anko nodded, clambered to her feet and pointed her finger at him. "Go home. Clean up. And meet me back here on Monday. We're doing this until I think you're ready."

As she vanished, Iruka dropped his head down against his chest, trying to ignore the blood running down the back of both arms.

OOOOOOOOOOO

The floorboards creaked underneath him as he plodded slowly up the stairs. Fishing his keys out of his pocket was easily the hardest thing he'd done that day, and he would have seriously considered just sleeping in the hallway, if only he trusted his neighbors not to harass him. The shinobi he shared a floor with took the end of the week as an excuse to go out and get completely plastered. Kotetsu and Izumo had actually fallen through his door one night, both in various states of undress and looking very surprised that Iruka was standing in the middle of 'their' living room in pajama pants.

After three tries to get the key into the lock – he'd missed on the first two – the door opened, and he stopped only to slip his shoes off in the entryway before continuing straight to his bed and collapsing face down. He knew he should get cleaned off and bandage some of the deeper wounds, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to stand up for longer than a couple of minutes in the shower.

His eyes drifted halfway closed, and his mind settled somewhere between awake and asleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Over the past couple of hours, the roof he'd perched himself on had grown increasingly uncomfortable, but he'd been debating with himself – and Pakkun, though the dog had just shrugged it off and pointed out that he really didn't care – about whether or not he should actually use the door.

The debate had ended with him deciding that he was trying to get the chuunin to trust him, and, while he would be probably be falling through the window on several occasions in the future, seeming slightly more normal to begin with might be a better option.

He was more than a little surprised to discover that the door to Iruka's apartment was still partially open, and he hesitated for only a second before letting himself in. He couldn't help but smile when he located the chuunin. Iruka lay on his stomach, head pillowed on his arm, and his hair was pulled halfway out of it's ponytail to partially hide his face. But as Kakashi drew closer, he noticed the scattered wounds – some of which were still bleeding sluggishly. He settled down on the edge of bed, feeling it dip with his weight and reached out slowly and pressed his hand against Iruka's shoulder blade.

The startled scream took him completely by surprise, and he tightened his hold slightly to keep Iruka from sitting up and reopening the scabbed wounds. "Really, Iruka-sensei. You're bleeding all over your bed."

Kakashi smiled happily down at him as Iruka's eyes widened and he turned his head enough that he could see the jounin. "Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came to see if you wanted dinner."

"Dinner?" Iruka looked very confused and still a little fuzzy from being woken up so sharply.

"Maa, you know, food, mouth, chew, swallow." Kakashi continued to smile brightly as Iruka's confusion disappeared to be replaced by a look of impatience. "Tsunade told me that you'd agreed to be my touchstone. I figured we should get to know each other." He barely managed to swallow his surprise when Iruka nodded and had to take a second to return his brain to the correct track. "But you look exhausted. I'll find you tomorrow."

"Uh, alright."

Kakashi exited through the window without looking back, pausing on the roof of the building to look at the blood still on his hands. Tsunade had explained the training regime for a touchstone to him, and while he was still stunned that Iruka'd actually agreed in the first place, he'd been pretty sure that Iruka might change his mind after the first training session. He'd expected it even more now that he'd seen what kind of beating Anko'd put Iruka through. In fact, he'd originally gone to Iruka's house to allow him the option of backing out; to ask him if he was really sure about becoming a touchstone.

But Iruka'd shown no sign that he wanted out, a fact that had thrown him completely for a loop. Kakashi had used the chuunin's exhaustion to escape because he was not prepared to talk about himself, to open himself up to someone else. _Iruka._ He turned slowly, heading for his own apartment. _Why are you doing this for me?_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wooo, chapter 2! Please review if you liked, or if you hated. I'm willing to tweak if people really don't like it….

Sunlight through Leaves


	3. Healing

Sorry that this chapters a little later than the last one. I was completely swamped with work and cleaning.

Just as a side note that people may have already noticed, but I thought I'd spell it out. My writing takes place in a sort-of AU, just because it's really hard to stuff my story into the framework of the actual story. People may have noticed that I added a few weeks to the manga storyline (Naruto and Sasuke fought on the roof, and in the manga, Sasuke leaves on the same day) when I wrote Kept Secret, and I've done the same thing here. I mention Sai, but Kakashi's not in the hospital, and Asuma is likely to still be alive. Pretend there was a little bit more time around Team 7/Yamato's return.

Aaaanyway, onto the story! and enjoy!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The sick sticking sound as he pulled himself free of his sheets almost made Iruka hurl. As he staggered slowly to the bathroom, he was incredibly grateful that he'd been too busy to eat lunch yesterday and too tired when he'd gotten home to even consider the possibility of dinner. Unfortunately, the rumble of the ancient pipes in his bathroom as he turned on the shower failed to drown out the word 'dinner' as it echoed around inside his pounding head, and he had a sudden flashback to Kakashi sitting on the side of his bed, one hand on his shoulder, and all to fully aware of how badly Anko had kicked his ass.

Iruka groaned, wincing as the water pounded against the open wounds on his back. _How long's it going to be before he realizes this was a mistake…?_

The shower made him feel slightly more human, but the contortions he had to go through in order to get his shirt over his head pulled some of the half-formed scabs, and he was sure a couple of them started bleeding again. As he limped into the small kitchen and rummaged through his fridge – the milk was stuck behind three half-eaten ramen cartons that Naruto had brought over recently, he was very glad that it was Saturday, and he didn't have to teach. If he had, the majority of his notes would be confined to the lower half of the board because he didn't think he could raise his arms any higher than his shoulders.

The soft knocking on his door took him by surprise, and he checked his watch, wondering if he'd slept in longer than he'd thought. _Only 9._ If Naruto was to be believed - and Iruka had spent enough time with the kyuubi boy to know that what he said needed to be taken with a grain of salt - Kakashi had yet to show up before noon on any of their training days. The jounin, of course, had never been late for any of the missions Team 7 had taken, but Iruka had to figure that, on a Saturday at 9 in the morning, Kakashi was not going to be knocking at his door.

Though the list of people who were likely to be visiting him at this hour was short, he hadn't even considered… "Shizune-san?"

"Ohayo, Iruka-sensei!" She smiled brightly and tossed a bag of something in his general direction. Either her aim was poor or she was testing him, Iruka wasn't sure, but he couldn't quite hide a wince as he reached out to snag it.

"Oh, guess Anko-chan wasn't exaggerating, eh?" Testing, then. Shizune paused for a moment, and then leaned forward slightly to look around the room. "Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure." Iruka stepped back, letting her pass and shutting the door behind her.

"Wow! This place is really nice!" Shizune strode into the living room and past the couch to lean out the open window, taking in the view of the rest of the village. "What a view!"

Iruka followed her, wondering if the bewildered feeling that had settled in his gut after Anko'd thrown the first kunai at him yesterday, grown with Kakashi's appearance in his apartment – seriously, how _had_ he gotten in there? – and was now working it's way up to his vocal cords was going to become permanent. "Shizune-san?"

"…I mean the sun must shine in through these windows during the afternoon…. Oh, what?" She spun back around to face him.

"Why are you here?" Iruka rested one hand on the stack of scrolls on his end table and raised an eyebrow at her.

"You… I thought…" Shizune looked puzzled. "I thought Anko added my name to that note of hers." She had the decency to look sheepish when Iruka shook his head. "Sorry! I'm taking charge of one of your other lessons."

"Other lessons?" More bewilderment, Iruka sighed and figured he should just get used to it.

"Tsunade-sama didn't tell you?"

"I didn't even know about that thing with Anko until she started attacking me." Iruka pointed out.

Shizune rolled her eyes. "Tsunade-sama seems to believe that surprise is the best way to learn. You learn how to react better to unknowns if you're not prepared for your training." She took in the disbelief painted across Iruka's face and laughed out loud. "Yeah, I don't buy it either."

"So," Iruka tried to wrap his brain around this and still make some effort to be polite, but he'd only been up for about 15 minutes, and he was still aching from the day before. "Why are you here?'

Shizune dropped down onto the arm of his couch, drawing several scrolls from the pockets of her overcoat, and waved them at him. "Healing lessons."

OOOOOOOOOO

The green light blazed around his hands for a brief second, and then spluttered out, much to his extreme annoyance. He'd been working at this for a good two hours, and while he was incredibly thankful for Shizune's infinite patience, chakra control was not something he was naturally good at. And if he was going to be absolutely honest with himself, there really wasn't anything that he was naturally good at – except maybe teaching. Everything he'd mastered had come from hard work that had lasted much longer than two hours. In short, it was going to be a while before he could confidently heal a hangnail.

He raised his right hand, slowly, and wiped the sweat off his forehead before lowering his hand to cup a couple of inches over one of the smaller wounds –where a senbon had ripped across his left forearm instead of sticking in. "Tell me again why I'm doing this to my own wounds? Don't most students deal with dead fish at the beginning?" The words: _where they're not going to accidentally hurt what they're trying to heal_ were left unspoken.

"Usually. But this is faster."

"Faster?"

"Mmm, once you get to the point where you're actually trying to heal yourself, it'll hurt like hell if you're doing it wrong." Iruka looked a little shocked. "Pain's a remarkably good motivator. Alright, focus within yourself, extend your chakra to 'feel' the wound and heal it." Shizune suggested. The expression on her face seemed to suggest that the infinite patience was wearing a little thin.

_Feel it. Right._ Iruka squinted at the back of his hand, feeling the chakra peel out from the center of his heart, flowing down his arm to focus in the center of his palm. The green fire flicked up his fingers and faded._Damn._ Something was wrong; something _felt_ wrong when he tried to reach out to the wound on his arm.

Shizune gnawed briefly at the edge of her thumb. "The release needs to be smooth. It's almost like you're pushing the chakra, and it's coming out in pulses." Her brows drew down, and she irritably shook her hair out of her eyes.

_Focus within yourself._ Iruka repeated as he started the process over, following Shizune's well-laid-out steps for focusing. Right when he reached step three, a bird flying by the window snapped his gaze off the back of his hand, and he growled, mentally slapping himself and telling himself to pay attention. _Focus and…_ He'd barely completed step one when the bird swooped by for a second pass, snatching his attention again.

Feeling rather defeated, Iruka closed his eyes, concentrating on slowing his breathing down to throttle back the rising frustration. _I am here._The words rolled through his mind easily; the technique was something he'd done since he was a kid. He was pretty sure his mom had taught it to him, but he honestly couldn't remember the point when he'd started using it. But it worked well to settle him during training, so he figured it certainly couldn't hurt here.

Following the words, he brought his chakra slowly into the center of his body to regain his control over it, and then released it back out.

At least, that's what he intended to do, but he'd been practicing for so long on releasing along one conduit, that his muscle memory betrayed his brain. The chakra raced down his arm, and it felt completely different, rolling, cresting inside his skin and then breaking.

He could see the wound on the inside of his eyelids, and it looked just like a puzzle piece._Insert tab A into slot A. _He forced down a giddy laugh, pulled gently with the chakra flow so that the two edges met and smoothed the light down the center of the cut as it slid together.

"Well." Shizune sounded surprised. "That was different."

Iruka peeled his eyes open. The green glow that surrounded his hand had taken on a bluish hue and continued to burn softly without the flickering or spitting that had plagued it earlier. After a moment's hesitation – end the jutsu, try again, and hope it wasn't a fluke, or heal the rest of the wounds before starting over – he called his chakra back into him and watched the fire fade to nothing. Only after he was certain that he had everything under control did he turn to Shizune.

"You didn't focus the way I told you to."

"Sorry."

Shizune actually laughed. "Don't apologize! If it works, it works. I've just always used those instructions because they seem to work for most people who are becoming medic-nin. But we're all sort of the same type of personality, so there's no reason they should work as well for you." She grabbed his left arm, tugging him around hard, and examined the slightly paler skin where the wound used to be. "Good job. We'll have to do a bit more work to get you up to speed on more complicated injuries, but you should be able to heal anything Anko dishes out at you now." She reached over and tugged at the hem of Iruka's shirt, ignoring the yelp of indignation as she pulled upwards. "Heal the rest of these before I go, and we'll be done for the day."

Iruka edged away from her, fighting to suppress the blush spreading up his cheeks. "I'm fully capable of taking off my own shirt!"

OOOOOOOOOOO

Looking decidedly puzzled, Kakashi raised his hand to knock on the blank door a third time. He was about half a heartbeat away from just 'letting' himself in, probably through the window. He rapped loudly, resisting the urge to call out the chuunin's name; he'd learned long ago not to be noisy on the weekend in a shinobi apartment building. While he was perfectly able to dodge any weapons thrown in his direction, neighbors tended to frown on that type of new decoration in the hallway.

This time he heard movement inside, followed by a voice calling out, "Yes, yes, I'm coming." The door was pulled open with a fair amount of force. "Wha…." Iruka trailed off as his brain processed Kakashi's identity. "Kakashi-sensei?"

"You're looking a lot better." Kakashi studied the chuunin's frame, looking for evidence of the beating that he'd taken the previous day, the decided lack of a shirt making it easy for him to take an inventory. The bruises were still vivid against the tan skin, but all of the open wounds had been healed, or at least he assumed they had; no sign of them remained.

"I…thank you?" Iruka somehow turned the simple statement into more of a question. "Would you like to come in?'

Kakashi grinned happily at his back as the other man turned away and held up a plastic bag. "I brought dinner."

Iruka had started down the hallway towards the living room, but turned back at that statement. "Dinner?'

"Maa, food, mouth…"

Iruka rolled his eyes, "I know what dinner is!'

"See, I figured that last night, but you keep repeating the word whenever I use it." Kakashi didn't think it was necessary to add that this was only the second time that he'd used that word in Iruka's presence. Iruka didn't seem to be listening to him anyway; he was staring blankly at the clock on the wall in the living room.

"It's 5…" Iruka muttered, rubbing his hand across his face.

"Lose track of time?"

"Shizune-san came by this morning to give me a crash course in healing, but she left at about noon. I must have fallen asleep…."

"Healing takes a lot of chakra." Kakashi offered, setting the bag of food down on the coffee table. "You'll be exhausted every time you do it, and you'll be…"

A deep rumble from the vicinity of Iruka's waistline interrupted him, and the chuunin dropped one hand to cover his stomach, flushing with embarrassment. Only then did he seem to notice the fact that he wasn't wearing his shirt. The blush deepened rapidly, and Iruka snatched his shirt off the couch, pulling it on over his head and dropping down onto the cushions, staring fixedly at the carpet off the corner of his coffee table.

"….starving." Kakashi finished. He pulled out one of the containers and waved it at the other man, who took it without actually looking at him.

"So," Iruka said, pausing for a few moments too long as he was clearly considering what he was going to say. "You've been in ANBU for a long time, right?"

Kakashi nodded silently, setting the empty container back on the table – he'd inhaled his food with the same speed that he always did, if only because Iruka seemed to be averting his gaze so that he could eat in peace, and he really liked looking at people when he talked to them.

"So am I a replacement touchstone?"

"Nope. I'm new at this whole thing too."

"Then why are you getting one now?" Iruka turned to look at him, confusion written all over his face.

Kakashi shrugged. "The Gondaime decided that she was going to enforce the touchstone rule."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka bit his lip in frustration – Tsunade wasn't known for her adherence to the rules, he found it very hard to believe that she'd suddenly decided to unilaterally enforce this one, so he couldn't quite hold back the waspish comment. "Kakashi-sensei, if I'm going to be your touchstone, you're going to have to trust me!" He felt his face heat up again and ducked his head, "Gomen. T-that was out of line." He cast around desperately for any subject other than the current one. "I hear Naruto and Sai haven't actually managed to kill each other yet."

_Oh yeah, Iruka, real smooth change of topic._

Kakashi seemed to relax and turned towards him, eye curving upwards. "Not for lack of trying. Well, at least not for lack of trying on Naruto's part. I'm not sure that Sai cares." His shoulders slumped slightly, "It was much more interesting when it was Naruto and Sasuke. At least Sasuke fought back."

Iruka laughed. "They tore up my classroom one day. Sasuke threw Naruto through one of the desks. I made them stay and clean up after it, but then there was name calling, and things rapidly deteriorated after that, and I wound up with another broken desk."

"Class always that interesting?"

"I wish." Iruka snorted. "Nine times out of ten they're all half asleep, and it's all I can do to get them to pay attention."

Silence descended between them, getting more and more awkward by the second. But in that silence were the unspoken questions that neither of them was ready to ask or answer.

_Why did you ask for me?_

_Why did you say yes?_

OOOOOOOOOO

The bright sunshine reflected off the smooth surface of the memorial stone and the dew on the surrounding grass. Sunday mornings had always been Kakashi's favorite time to visit Obito and the Yondaime. Very few people were out and about this early on the weekend, and he had nowhere to be.

The jounin crouched down in front of the stone so that he was eye to eye with their names. "I think I've finally made a good decision." He paused. "Yeah, his name's Iruka.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ahhhhh….next chapter. Please review (even if you hate it, I need to know!). Hope you like where this is going!

Sunlight through Leaves


	4. Learning

Alrighty, I managed to get the next one out! Sorry this has taken so long, all I can do is apologize (please forgive me!)

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The air drifting out of the open window curled up around the awning and over the edge of the roof; it smelled of water, trees and chalk dust – a combination that was distinctly Iruka – and of….

Dead fish?

Kakashi dropped into the open window, landing in a crouch and raising his hand in a half-wave, "Yo, Iru….ka?"

Shizune grinned up at him from where she was sprawled on the couch, hands full of fish, calmly bending the scaled body back and forth, and Kakashi was sure that he heard soft snaps emanating from it. "Morning, Kakashi-san!" She paused to study the fish, and then, seeming satisfied, dropped it onto a growing pile on the table in front of her.

Kakashi looked from the pile of fish, to Shizune, and back to the pile of fish, "What_ are_ you….?"

"Shizune-san, will this work?" Kakashi turned his attention to the doorway as Iruka turned the corner into the living room and stopped dead. "Kakashi-san? Why are you here?"

"Morning Iruka-sensei!"

The chuunin blushed, fidgeting with the piece of cloth in his hands, "Gomen, that was really rude. Ohayo, Kakashi-sensei."

"Maaa, I thought I'd stop in and see how the training's going." He cocked his head at Shizune, moving his hand towards his hitae-ate. "Maybe learn something."

Shizune shook her head and said in mock seriousness, "I thought you couldn't teach an old dog new tricks, Kakashi-san?"

His visible eye curved up, "I'm sticking my tongue out at you."

"Really?" Shizune teased him back. "If you'll pull your mask down, I'll know for sure." The dark eyes brightened significantly at the thought. "Iruka-kun's going to get to see you without it, ne?"

Kakahsi winked broadly, "Maybe." He was inordinately proud of how the slight lilt in his voice turned the simple statement into innuendo, and he had to hide a smile as Iruka dropped his head to hide the blush creeping up the sides of his face. The chuunin had, apparently picked up on the subtle undertones of his comment.

Shizune patted the couch beside her, "Come, join us, Iruka-kun!" Iruka's head snapped back up, and made his way too the couch, looking rather dazed.

"So," Kakashi folded his arms and leaned against the wall, "What are you doing?'

Shizune had scooped up another fish carcass and was calmly wiggling it between her fingers, "Iruka-kun's learning how to heal broken bones. There are a lot of fine bones in these fish, so he can have lots to practice on."

Iruka was leaning over the table, spreading the cloth across the worn glass and moving the already-broken fish onto it.

Shizune tossed the last fish onto the pile, "It's either this, or we get Anko to break some of his bones, but I think we want to keep him mostly in one piece."

Kakashi nodded, "Preferably." Again with the innuendo. He would have stopped, really, but there was so little effort involved, and the play of colors across Iruka's face was so completely worth it.

"And, besides," Shizune continued, "I won't have much time with him this week once Ibiki gets his hands on him, so I have to impart all my vast wisdom to him today."

A slight gagging sound cut off any response Kakashi might have made. Iruka looked like he had swallowed his tongue. "Ibiki…san?"

One of Shizune's brows went up, "What, exactly, did Anko's note say?"

"Only that I was to meet with her that afternoon."

Kakashi deflated, the happiness brought on from being in this warm room and the teasing atmosphere rushing out of his system. That, at least explained why Iruka had not taken the option to leave; he honestly had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Iruka plopped down onto the couch, the faint blush vanish from his cheeks and his eyes focusing sharply on the backs of his hands, "So," He started slowly. "Is there anything else I should know about this training?'

After a moment of thought, Shizune shook her head "Nope. Anko, Ibiki and I are the only ones. You know about Anko and I; Ibiki's going to be teaching you some resistance methods. Most Anbu don't use genjutsu, but Kakashi-san," She gestured towards the defeated-looking jounin, "Uses everything. It's better to be safe then sorry – especially when it comes to the sharingan."

"Alright." Iruka said, shifting to lean forwards towards the table. "So what am I supposed to do with these fish?"

Kakashi had never been more grateful for his mask. At this point, it was the only thing keeping mouth from hanging open.

OOOOOOOOOO

The ropes creaked ominously as his body fell forward, and Iruka could hear his breath rattling in his lungs. His eyes searched for the walls and floor - relieved that the room had finally returned to its proper orientation; there was something incredibly sickening about looking at the room around you and realizing the you, and you alone, were standing on the ceiling, with the chairs, tables, and other people looking up at you from the floor -- and finally raised his eyes to focus on the single other figure in the room.

"That's enough for today." Ibiki remained in the same spot he'd started in, arms folded, staring at the exhausted chuunin with an intensity that threatened to burn through him.

Iruka was glad that Ibiki had insisted on tying him to the chair. He'd protested when the subject had first come up, but Ibiki had pointed out that the reason people didn't survive genjutsu was because they tended to injure themselves while trying to escape from the illusion, and now he was sure that his face would have made friends with the floor long before now.

With a few movements of his wrists, the ropes fell lose, and Iruka rose slowly to his feet, balancing himself on the back of the chair. "How long?" He was afraid to ask, sure that he had only been under for a few minutes, even if it had felt like several days inside the twisted world.

"About an hour." Ibiki bent to retrieve the rope from the floor, coiling it around his hand. "Have you had training for genjutsu before?"

Iruka shook his head, "Nothing besides the academy lectures." He paused for a moment, "Definitely nothing practical."

Ibiki turned his back on him, opening the door and moving almost completely out of the room before turning back to him, "Then it's not bad, for your first time."

Pride kept Iruka standing until the door shut – he would not show the special jounin just beat he was – but the minute the latch clicked, he allowed his legs to buckle and folded down into the chair, resting his head in his hands and fighting the headache that was working it's way up the back of his skull.

OOOOOOOOOO

By the end of the next week, Iruka was trying to convince himself that he was settling into the new routine, but he had never been good at lying to himself.

During the first full day of training, Ibiki'd grabbed him before school, and Iruka'd stumbled into his first class almost twenty minutes late. He'd closed his eyes after the genjutsu, to rest his pounding head, and had promptly passed out. He wasn't entirely sure what had woken him – he vaguely remembered something nudging his foot, but that was quickly forgotten in the storm of swearing he'd set up when he had realized what time it was. He made it through the rest of the day, barely, and had been only a couple of minutes late to his meeting with Anko, who had attacked him the moment he stepped onto the training ground.

When he reached his home that night, he was more than a little pleased to discover that, even though she'd chased him around the grounds for at least twice as long as last time, he had the exact same number of wounds, and most of them were much shallower than last time. He had only hoped that she hadn't been going easy on him.

At the end of the day, he only had enough energy to heal the worst of his wounds before falling into bed.

After Ibiki's training, Iruka had made a concerted effort to keep from falling asleep, but he paid for it later when he passed out at his desk and his oh-so-delightful class decided to prank him.

He woke up ten minutes before his next class – which he figured was plenty of time to get ready, until he discovered that all…_all_…of the pockets in his vest were filled with something that was the consistency of pudding; they squished when he pressed against them. Iruka moved to open them and remove the offending substance.

Only to discover that the little turkeys had sewn the flaps shut.

He was pretty sure Kotetsu and Izumo heard his howl of fury all the way out at the village gate, and he was not amused when they asked him about it later that night.

On the other hand, the pudding-substance seemed to soften the blows dealt to him by Anko, who'd decided to switch it up and try to hurt him using taijutsu. She seemed a little miffed that she was less able to hit him using hand-to-hand combat and dropped into a deep spin kick that he did not see coming. Her heeled foot connected sharply with the front of his shin, and Iruka heard the bone crack.

As bright flashes of light bloomed behind his eyelids, which had snapped shut so he didn't have to look at her overly victorious face, he figured that, on the bright side, he'd actually get to practice healing bones on a real, live person. He just tried to ignore the fact that said live person was actually himself.

He was so completely exhausted after healing his leg and a few of the other rapidly forming bruises that he just didn't have the energy to deal with his vest.

He awoke the next morning to discover that, not only had his pranked vest been removed at some point during the night, but a clean, though well-worn one had been left in its place. The new vest fit decently well, though it was a little big in the shoulders, and smelled of something that Iruka couldn't quite put his finger on until he'd almost been run over by Kiba and Akamaru on his way to meet Ibiki for training. The overpowering smell of dog washed over him, serving as a very brief early warning, and he leapt to the wall, allowing them to pass by. As the scent faded, Iruka sniffed the air, and then buried his nose in the high collar of the vest, inhaling. Though it was faint, the vest definitely smelled of dog.

Despite his best intentions, his body decided that he could no longer stay awake, and he passed out at his desk again. When he awoke, however, all of his body parts and associated clothing remained intact. And his students were sitting properly in their seats waiting for the next class to start. At least that's what he assumed they were doing; Iruka'd never had so many problems reading his students faces – they all looked like they had the fear of god put in them.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kakashi was still chuckling under his breath as he made his way to meet his reinstated team for training. He'd been on his way there earlier – only one hour late instead of the 2 he was going to be after this incident – when he'd felt a rise of anger wash down the link between himself and Pakkun and had quickly diverted back to the academy, inordinately worried that something had happened.

When he arrived outside the window of Iruka's classroom, he saw Pakkun standing on the desk between Iruka, who was still sleeping soundly, and the entirety of his class, who were armed with superglue, scissors and sharpies. He had no idea what they were planning to do, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Pakkun was in mid-rant when he arrived, "….in all my years of service to this village, I have never seen such disrespect for the people who are giving their all to make sure that you are not only protected but are teaching you everything you are going to need to survive as shinobi! This person is willing to give up all of his time for you and their fellow shinobi, and this is how you repay him!"

The kids were all staring at their feet, looking very ashamed.

"If this is the future of our village, I'm disgusted." Pakkun glared around at the kids to make sure that he'd made his point, and then continued with a deep growl that belied his size. "And if I _ever_ catch any of you pups trying something like this again, I will personally bite each and every one of your hands off!"

Kakashi had to choke down a bark of laughter. Pakkun had taken an almost immediate liking to Iruka after Kakashi had asked him to keep tabs on the chuunin. Once he'd seen what Anko'd done to Iruka the first time, and the fact that the chuunin had made no effort to patch himself up that night, Kakashi had insisted that someone make sure Iruka was okay; he would never forgive himself if the chuunin was permanently injured because Kakashi had requested him as his touchstone.

Pakkun had grumbled about it the entire way to Iruka's apartment, but since Kakashi had asked him to do it, he'd stayed, but with the same resigned attitude he'd adopted whenever Kakashi suggested that Pakkun smelled a little too ripe and it was bath time (the pug, of course, had tried to avoid it in the past, but had discovered quickly that Kakashi, armed with sharingan and soap, could chase him down with very little trouble).

The real surprise had come when Pakkun appeared demanding one of his vests. After a few minutes of confused explanation –the dog had never been really clear on the concept of the 'past.' Time existed here and now in the minds of most animals, and Pakkun had struggled from the very first to understand that something that happened yesterday could be as or more painful than something that happened today, but Kakashi had learned to deal with the bizarre mix of past and present sentence structure that littered the dog's speech when he wasn't trying to be clear– Kakashi, at Pakkun's request and his own self-motivated interest in the chuunin, had followed the pug to Iruka's apartment and helped him replace the soiled vest. When they'd returned to his own apartment, without Iruka even stirring from the bed he was sprawled across, Kakashi had asked a simple question, "Why?"

Pakkun had simply given him the closest thing to a shrug the dog could manage, "I would have done it for you."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka woke to a strange breeze winding it's way through his bedroom and sat up sharply in bed, peering at the hazy darkness before leaping from bed when a deep thump echoed from the general vicinity of the living room.

He sprinted through the door, armed with a kunai snatched quickly out of weapons pouch, and skidded to a halt when he saw Kakashi leaning heavily on the back of his couch and running his fingers back through his spiky hair.

The steady drip of blood coming from the gash at his hairline shook Iruka out of his daze, and he dropped the kunai to the floor, crossing to Kakashi's side and ducking under the jounin's arm to support his weight, feeling his heart skip slightly at the sight of the blood. A quick search, however, revealed that the cut on his head, while bleeding profusely, seemed to be the only injury. Iruka was grateful that he had at least one week of training behind him; the control of healing chakra was starting to come naturally to him after all the practice he got thanks to Anko.

A brief pulse of light surrounded his hand as he pulled the edges closed. "Kakashi-san?" Iruka had pulled the hitae-ate away from the jounin's face so that he could access the wound more readily, and his hand slid up from the cut to push back the soggy mop of hair. "Are you alright?"

The jounin nodded slowly before shaking water off himself like a dog (all over Iruka) and yawning hugely, "Maaa, it wasn't that bad a mission. Just a little too much rain." He smiled up at Iruka, and the chuunin felt his worry for the other man quickly disintegrate into irritation that Kakashi had led him to believe the whole thing was more serious than it actually was. Iruka stepped away, raising his hands to catch the jounin in case he was unstable on his feet.

Kakashi remained standing, grinning like an idiot and dripping all over Iruka's rug. The chuunin glared at him for a minute before wheeling around and stalking back to his bedroom. The jounin could stand there soaked for the rest of the night, for all he cared.

At least he kept telling himself that, but as he slid back under the covers, he wondered whether Kakashi was going to change clothes or risk hypothermia and thought seriously about going back out there and forcing the jounin to take care of himself. The rattle of the pipes in his shower took him by surprise, and he sat up in bed, staring at the closed door of the bathroom. He slowly lay back down, dropping his head back to the pillow. At least Kakashi seemed to have the sense not to freeze to death, which would make his job that much easier.

There seemed to be no point in trying to stay awake; his body had other ideas, and even though he didn't have training with Ibiki in the morning, his body had decided to make up for all the lack of sleep during the week. And it was 2 in the morning. The drumming of water on tile continued as he fell asleep.

OOOOOOOOOOO

A brief attempt to extract himself from the covers twisted around his waist proved completely useless since the usually loose left side of the bed absolutely refused to move. Iruka pushed himself up onto his elbows, trying to figure out what on earth was going wrong in his bedroom.

Kakashi was curled, thankfully, on top of his blankets, dressed in his mask, hitae-ate and a pair of Iruka's pajama pants.

"What are you...?" Iruka couldn't quite hold back the indignant squeak. The single gray eye opened and gazed up at him. "You didn't ask to borrow my pants!" Iruka clapped a hand over his mouth the minute the words were out; he hadn't meant to say that, really. It had just popped into his head, and for some unknown reason, the filter that usually sat between his brain and his mouth had deserted him.

Kakashi stared up at him, looking down at the blue flannel pants before bursting into laughter. "I need permission to borrow a pair of pants?" The visible eye flashed dangerously, "But not to sleep in your bed?'

Iruka turned scarlet, grabbed the pillow and smacked the annoying jounin in the face.

But as he stood in his bathroom waiting for the hot water to reach his floor, he pressed his hand to his waist, where he could still feel the ghost of warmth from…Kakashi's arm? And wondered if that's why he had slept without any of the nightmares that were typically brought on by the sight of another's blood. His hand remained on that spot even as he stood under the water, and he only removed it when he realized he needed both hands to wash his hair.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Eh, extra long to make up for the long wait. Please tell me if you like it, if something's wrong, or if you really hate it (I can take it, and I'd like to get better, so let me know; I'm a big proponent of constructive criticism)!

I'll try to get the next one out sooner...I really hope...

Sunlight through Leave


	5. Mission

Sorry sorry sorry sorry. I know I haven't updated and I'm sorry...really...

This has M parts in it, but there's a warning. Skip to the next chapter when you get to the warning if you don't want to read it!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka dropped the last paper down onto the stack with a certain sense of finality, smiling quietly to himself before yawning, stretching and checking the time. He'd finished grading in a record amount of time and realized that he might actually get a full eight hours of sleep for the first time in weeks. His body had slowly adjusted to the demanding schedule that came with being a touchstone, and he'd become more efficient at almost everything he did – though he still wasn't sure that grading and eating at the same time was a good idea; he'd managed to spill a little bit on one of the papers and was forced to write a very apologetic note in the margin.

A slight movement in his peripheral vision caught his attention and he turned quickly towards the window, almost falling over his coffee table since he was in the process of getting up. He half expected Kakashi to appear in the frame; the jounin had been handling relatively simple missions, at least for an ANBU, but had still spent several nights now curled around Iruka's pillow, snoring slightly, while he slept off the stress – or so he claimed - of the mission.

Iruka was beginning to wonder if Tsunade was purposefully keeping Kakashi's missions simple to allow Iruka's training to catch up with the jounin's ability. Most touchstones, or so she'd informed him when she'd tracked him down a couple of days ago, were selected when the ANBU member was promoted to the squad, so the touchstone was given a chance to grow along with their ANBU – a situation that was clearly not the case with him and Kakashi.

But Kakashi wasn't on a mission, and even though Iruka mentally slapped himself for even letting the thought graze the outer corners of his mind, he couldn't help but wish briefly that Kakashi would be assigned another mission soon, so that he would return to Iruka's apartment. He was getting used to waking up next to the jounin – who always slept on top of the covers, much to Iruka's surprise given Kakashi's rather sordid reputation around the village – was getting used to waiting for the bathroom – he was starting to convince himself that Kakashi was blow-drying his hair after his shower, the jounin took so long in the morning – and was getting used to dodging the other man in the kitchen. But more than anything else, he was getting used to having someone else around him after he'd returned from class.

The window was thrown wide open, partially as an invitation to door-abhoring jounin, but mostly so that the spring winds could blow directly into his living room, swirling around the high ceiling and providing a little break from the insufferable heat that hinted at the summer to come. Iruka moved to the window, pulling his hair out of its ponytail and letting it whip around his face as the wind picked up. His eyes widened as he looked across the slightly glowing panorama of Konoha, and noticed the bright lights still on in the windows of the Hokage's office. She hadn't been staying this late recently; even with the Akatsuki on the move, Tsunade could do little but wait, and she absolutely hated working in her office. Any paperwork that could be taken home was.

Several figures moved inside the office, throwing shadows across the windows. Iruka cocked his head to one side, puzzling about what Tsunade was up to, before turning away from his window and falling into bed. Whatever the Gondaime was up to, a meeting at 10 at night would certainly not involve someone as low on the food chain as he was.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tsunade folded her arms tightly around herself, staring out the window in silence, waiting for the third, and final person to arrive. The soft clack of heels on wood signaled her arrival, and she turned to look at her three guests, who were all glancing back and forth at each other, clearly trying to work out the least common denominator between them.

"I wish I could wait on this, but it's absolutely time sensitive." Tsunade watched their eyes travel to folder tucked under her arm and the letters 'Top Secret' stamped across the edge of it. "And Kakashi-san is the only one qualified for this one. Is he ready?"

Shizune's eyes widened, "Is it that bad? That you're worried about whether or not he can handle it?"

The silence that filled the space between them answered her question. And she saw Shizune shift uncomfortably in the oppressive space.

"Yes." To her surprise, it was Ibiki who broke the silence.

"He's received all of the training he needs?"

"Probably not." The special jounin shrugged, running his hands over the cloth that covered the scars on this head. "But Iruka-san has a decided ability to learn how to cope with things. Even if we haven't taught it to him, he'll be fine."

Tsunade's piercing gaze wandered to the other people in her office and found both Shizune and Anko nodding.

Anko laughed sheepishly, "I can't really hit him anymore unless I get lucky, so I'm not sure he's going to learn much more from me."

Shizune shifted from foot to foot, "He's learned a fair amount of basic medical jutsu, but if it's anything serious…."

Tsunade waved her off, "If it's serious, Iruka'll bring him to the hospital; he's smart enough to do that."

"But, Tsunade-sama…!" She trailed off, embarrassed when both Ibiki and Anko turned to stare at her. "Iruka-kun's not had any training for dealing with psychological trauma, and any serious ANBU mission will involve that. Shouldn't we at least do something….?"

After shaking her head, the Gondaime moved back to the window, her eyes automatically finding the dark, open window of Iruka's apartment "Sensei….The Sandaime trusted Iruka; he was often the first person to talk to the children, partners and friends of shinobi who were lost on missions, either at the Sandaime's request or their own. No training can prepare you for dealing with someone who's been traumatized; there is nothing we can do for him in that respect." She rested her hand on the cool glass. "We will simply have to trust him."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sakura was giggling softly, walking slightly ahead of him and just behind Naruto and Sai. The word 'dickless' drifted back on the wind, and Kakashi saw Naruto draw his fist back and attempt to slam it straight into the former Root member's face. Sai dodged, snagging Naruto's hand and twisted the other boy's arm around behind his back.

Naruto's shouts of indignation didn't quite drown out the airborne cries of the Hokage's winged messenger, and Kakashi raised his eyes to the sky, recognizing the urgency in the calls and the unmistakable red band around its ankle which marked an ANBU summoning.

Disbelief was scattered across his team's faces when he offered a thoroughly plausible excuse - the caves of the Hokage mountain were slowly filling with self-aware algae and he had drawn the short straw for who had to dispose of them – but he did not stick around to hear the shouted 'liar!' from Naruto and Sakura. The fact that Tsunade had sent a bird to him instead of a runner suggested that the mission was urgent, and he was not going waste his time.

His porcelain mask slid over his face with an easy, practiced movement even as he twisted to finish tightening the buckles on his tactical armor. His father's chakra blade, which he still carried on ANBU missions only, snapped solidly into the holder between his shoulder blades.

Pakkun trailed behind him as he strode quickly from his bedroom to his living room, checking various weapons and scrolls distributed around his body and then pulling the long gloves over his hands. The pug hopped up onto the arm of the couch, "What's it this time?"

"Don't know." Kakashi pulled hard on the band around the top of the glove, pausing only to step into his sandals before vanishing from the center of the room.

The smoke cleared around him, leaving him crouched on the floor of the Hokage's office.

She leaned over her desk, holding out a bound folder. "That was fast for you."

"I got the impression it was urgent." Kakashi reached for the folder, unsealing it and quickly memorizing the pages within.

"It must be completed by tonight." There was a strange uncertainty in her voice that he had never heard before, and Kakashi felt that he could guess at its source when he read the assignment.

_Assassination._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Blood pooled beneath his fingers as he slid the blade silently across the target's throat, feeling the shiver climb his spine at the completion of the mission. The shadows of the room completely claimed his body, and he'd moved with such silence that the man's brain still hadn't realized he was dead even as his knees buckled. Kakashi slid his arm around the target's waist, easing him to the floor to keep the unmistakable thud of lifeless flesh meeting the ground from reaching the guards outside.

"Otousan?"

Kakashi froze, in the process of leaning over the victim and checking for any traces of himself on the body.

"Eh…." The child in the doorway stared at him, his mind too young to understand the significance of the dark pool spreading across the floor towards him. "Who…?"

A quick step put him behind the child before he could open his mouth, and his mind screamed as his hands reached for the child's throat.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Strong hands wrapped around his wrists, and he tried to sit up, twisting furiously when a knee was pressed into the small of his back and swearing under his breath. "What the…"

Breath grazed his ear as his captor leaned down over him; Iruka couldn't make out the words, but he recognized the voice and forced himself to relax within the tight grip. Fighting would only make it worse at this point.

Once he stopped struggling, the hold Kakashi had on his arms loosened, and Iruka took the opportunity to roll over so that he could look the jounin directly in the eye. "Kakashi-san." He started quietly. "You're home. You're…." Despite his best efforts, his eyes strayed from the gray gaze to the blood-soaked clothes covering Kakashi's body. "Are you hurt?!" And then, "Kakashi!?" As the tension went out of the jounin's body and he half collapsed across Iruka.

Panic settled in the depth of his chest, and Iruka felt his own fingers curl tightly around Kakashi's upper arms. _You're alright; I know you're alright….You have to be. _With a great effort, the chuunin shoved both of them upright into a sitting position, cradling Kakashi's head in the crook of his shoulder and running frantic fingers through the sticky hair looking for wounds.

Blood had caked into the buckles on the armor, which refused to budge, and in the darkness Iruka couldn't find the edges to peel the two pieces apart nor could he see if any of the clothes were torn or cut. He was worried that the jounin was badly injured, and he knew he wouldn't be able to find it unless he could get the clothes off.

With a low growl he wrestled both himself and the other man off the bed, half dragging, half carrying Kakashi down the hall to the bathroom. He braced against the wall, Kakashi's weight leaning heavily on him as he reached for the light and then the spigot for the shower.

He could feel the jounin's chest rising and falling against his own in short bursts of breath as he waited for the water to warm up. _Why is it taking so long?_

He tumbled both of them, fully clothed, into the shower, rubbing his hands against the crusted buckles and trying to ignore how the blood was turning his hands and arms crimson and dripping down into the bottom of the shower, forming a bloody pool beneath them. After a few minutes he managed to strip the tactical armor and shirt from the unresisting frame. Long tan fingers spread across the pale chest, and Iruka poked and prodded, searching for any break in the skin, but found none. After a moment's hesitation, he draped Kakashi's arm over his shoulder and knelt to the floor of the shower to remove the wrappings from his legs. Kakashi almost fell before his elbows sank deeply into Iruka's shoulders, and the chuunin's strength compensated for the gravity that was attempting to pull the limp jounin to the ground.

The leg wrappings were tossed, crumpled into the corner of the tub, and Iruka rose, guiding Kakashi back into a standing position as he did. His eyes followed a line from the bare lower half of the jounin's legs all the way up to the waistband of his pants.

Even intense worry about Kakashi's well-being couldn't quite stifle Iruka's natural reactions to invading other people's privacy, and even through the steam of the shower, he felt his face grow hot. _Stop being a chicken! _He snapped at himself. _If he's injured, if he's bleeding, it won't matter that you stripped him, so just…_ Without another thought, he hooked his thumbs into the waistband and tugged downward. A quick check revealed no injuries, and he raised his eyes back to meet Kakashi's. He removed the hitae-ate and met the spinning sharingan without flinching. The last thing he wanted to do was encourage Kakashi to treat him like an enemy.

He reached for the mask with even more hesitation, and if it hadn't been for the red lines dribbling down Kakashi's bare chest thanks to the water running through his mask, Iruka would not have even considered removing it. But it seemed to be as drenched in blood as the rest of his clothes, and Iruka could not risk the jounin being permanently scarred because he did not treat an injury. Fingers reached and pulled back and reached again, watching for any expression change. When Kakashi made no move to stop him, he slipped the fabric up and over the dripping hair, running his fingers along the strong jaw line.

Iruka cried with joy inside his head, and his knees almost buckled as he realized that Kakashi was uninjured. All that blood had, thankfully, come from someone or something else.

The jounin's frame started to shiver against him, and he pushed Kakashi gently back so he was leaning against the far wall before he turned to adjust the temperature knobs.

STOP – Do not read past this point if you do not want to read the M portion of the story. Head to Chapter 6 and you won't miss anything important, I promise!

It happened faster than he could have possibly imagined; between one second and the next, the jounin's body seemed to awaken, regaining its own strength. Hands wrapped tightly around his shoulder, and Kakashi pushed him against he shower wall hard enough to snap his teeth together, leaning in to capture his mouth in a hungry kiss, tongue nudging against his lips until they parted and allowed Kakashi to ravage his mouth fully. Iruka's eyes opened wide, startled as previously passive hands groped over his naked torso, sending shivers down his spine.

The reaction was so at odds with Kakashi's previous behavior that his brain couldn't seem to catch up. While his mind was grappling with the first action, the jounin's mouth slid from his, nipping and sucking at his jaw. While one hand seemed to be busy pulling at his hip to get him as close as possible, the other trailed down his side and back up, increasing the shivers wracking his body, and he could feel the lower parts of his anatomy responding, even if his mind still hadn't caught up.

_It must have been bad…very bad for him to react like this. _He'd been around long enough to recognize the post mission adrenaline that made almost every shinobi want to bury themselves in the closest warm body until the internal pain dulled – it would never actually go away. But for Kakashi to just take him like this, without any of the preliminaries the typically accompanied the end of a mission, the desire to forget must have been absolutely unbearable. The realization that he was closest breathing person, and therefore the best candidate for this kind of thing stung more than he'd expected it to, but he shoved it aside knowing damn well that this wasn't about him.

Kakashi captured his mouth again, his tongue diving into every corner as strong hands slid down the small of his back and beneath his own soaked pants. He felt them slide off, but his brain was still several steps behind and did not completely process the action. He heard a moan escape their lips and wasn't sure who'd made it. He wasn't even really sure if he cared, but he did lean into the kiss when Kakashi pressed into him again. He knew better than to fight for dominance; it would be hopeless in this situation, and he would not risk hurting Kakashi when he was bleeding inside as badly as he was right now. Instead he pulled the other man's body close and ran his fingers back through the silver strands of hair, forcing his chakra to gather at his fingertips so that he could gently massage the net of chakra points.

He barely noticed when Kakashi's hand left his side, but couldn't quite hide the tiny jump when he felt the bar of soap graze over his hip and down his back. Iruka gasped, but forced himself to relax, as Kakshi forced his legs farther apart. The motion made it almost impossible to remain standing, and Iruka clung desperately to the other man's neck, hoping that he didn't tumble both of them down into the bottom of the shower. Kakashi dropped his head, nibbling gently on Iruka's lower lip and causing a fire to bloom in the deep pit of his stomach. The hand not holding the soap reached down, taking hold of Iruka's thigh and pulling it up around Kakashi waist. Their erections moved against each other, and Iruka moaned out loud, digging the fingers of one hand deeply into Kakashi's shoulder. The initial change of position didn't cause him him to fall, amazingly, even though the toes of his foot were the only thing touching the ground. But he shot an arm out, slapping it against the wall and focusing a little chakra into his palm. Just in case.

He shuddered as the sound of the soap hitting the floor of the shower echoed around the enclosed space and bit his lip to stifle a gasp as a finger rubbed gently over his tight opening. Kakashi captured his mouth again just as Iruka felt the probing finger slide into him with a sharp, but minor, amount of pain. He forced himself to focus on the pleasure of the kiss, and the feel of Kakashi's erection pressing against his. He was so caught up that he barely noticed when the second finger pushed inside him, and the slight pain as he was stretched further was swallowed whole by the lips on his and the hand that wrapped itself around his cock. It wasn't until Kakashi's fingers rubbed against his prostrate, sending a surge of pure euphoric ecstasy tingling across his senses, that he took note of anything else. His head slammed back against the wall of the shower, and he cried out incoherently. He whimpered slightly when Kakashi removed his fingers and tried to voice a protest, but his mind just couldn't seem to put the words together.

Kakashi pushed him harder against the wall, lifting him slightly and drawing his hand up the inside of Iruka's leg as he pushed into him. It was a single smooth motion, and the pain shot through him, his fingers clenching on the wall and his partner's shoulder, and he offered up a small thanks when the jounin paused, panting, with his forehead resting on the cool tile. The gray eye was half closed, but watching him still, and Iruka realized with a start that even through the mission-haze, Kakashi was still somewhat aware of his surroundings and was trying very hard not to hurt him. He closed his eyes, pushing back against the intruding pressure with as much force as he could manage, and cried out again when Kakashi pulled out almost fully before pounding into him again and again.

His head tipped back as Kakashi dragged his teeth against his jaw and down his throat, sucking gently. A groan left his lips as those teeth settled on his collar bone, sucking furiously to be interrupted by the occasional nip. Iruka's hand transferred from the muscled shoulder and tangled desperately in the jounin's hair, and he slammed his other hand against the wall again, adding more chakra.

Iruka thought he was going to come every time Kakashi's hips drew back and slammed into him. At some point, time had been taken over by sensation, and Iruka was not about to try and sort it out, Kakashi had found his prostate with a stroke that had made him keen in the back of his throat and had not missed it since then, and it was slowly driving him mad. Without warning, Kakashi's hand returned to his hard-on, thumb rubbing over the tip and fingers squeezing and stroking in rhythm to the intense pounding. Fireworks exploded across his vision and he was lost. He convulsed around Kakashi, body drawing in as he bucked against the strong frame, and felt the warm sticky fluid shoot across his stomach, shielded by the spray of the water still raining down the other man's back. Kakashi pushed into him a few more times, grunting and clutching at Iruka's shoulder before spilling his own seed inside Iruka and gently pulling out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm not gonna lie. SumiHatake of DA wrote the lemon...I just adjusted to make it fit with my style and am now blushing furiously and thinking about going and hiding under the bed...


	6. Breakfast

Wooo! 2 chaps! (sort of...really just one long one split up)

Enjoy!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They collapsed to the floor of the shower still clinging to one another. Kakashi's voice cracked when he finally spoke, "I almost…. There was this kid and I almost…. Just an innocent little kid…" He trailed off, and Iruka closed his eyes, trying hard not to think about how much worse this would have been if Kakashi's training had completely taken over, and he'd killed the child.

"Shh, _ashele_, shhhhh." Iruka whispered into the silvery hair, "It's okay, I promise it's going to be okay." He'd heard this tone in his voice before, usually when one of his students came to him with some 'dire' problem that had left them crying, like Kakashi was now, the sobs wracking his chest as the tears blended with the trails of water from the shower raining down on them. Iruka nuzzled his face into the soft hair, rubbed Kakashi's back in gentle circles, and continued whispering words of comfort until the water started to turn cold.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kakashi woke alone in a bed that wasn't his, but that smelled overwhelmingly of a certain chuunin teacher who, he was hoping, didn't hate him. He got up slowly, hitching the now familiar blue flannel pants higher on his hips, stretched and walked out towards the kitchen. He paused in the doorway, and Iruka looked up at him and looked back down just as fast, gesturing in the general vicinity of the table. Kakashi took the hint and lowered himself slowly into the chair.

"Tea or coffee?" Iruka questioned, turning back to the stove.

"Tea," Kakashi had always preferred it to coffee – it tasted better. He only drank coffee if he was on a mission and needed the caffeine.

"I wasn't sure how you liked your eggs so I made omelets..." Iruka set the plate down in from of him, returning a second later with the tea.

"Maaa, it doesn't really matter to me the day after a mission. Just as long as it's something other than rations or soldier pills." He sipped his tea, but waited for Iruka to sit down before taking a bite. Silence settled between them as he worked up the courage to ask the question that had been bothering him since he woke. "Iruka?"

"Yes, Kakashi-san?" Iruka was staring at his food like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Kakashi." He corrected, smiling at the man across from him when Iruka started.

"Ano…K-Kakashi?" Iruka stumbled slightly over the name, but managed to get it out mostly intact.

Kakashi continued to gaze at the top of the chunnin's head, wishing that the other man would look up so that he could have this conversation face to face. "Did I hurt you? Last night?"

Iruka's head shot up, finally meeting his eyes for the first time that morning, and the color rose quickly to his cheeks before he sharply looked away.

"Shit." Kakashi swore. "I must have." Iruka kept his face turned aside, but opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking; I…I wasn't myself. I would never...!"

"It's not that!" Iruka interrupted. "Y-you didn't hurt me. Really! I'm just... embarrassed."

Kakashi sat back and blinked stupidly, "I thought they explained everything." _Did the Hokage not warn him that something like this might happen? Just more evidence to explain why he didn't run screaming when he was asked to by my touchstone…._

"They did." Iruka paused, "Well, not _that_ particular aspect of if, but don't worry. I….I already knew. I was there, and..and… Well it's not like I've never had mission sex before..." Iruka's eyes widened, and blush was spread down his whole neck.

The chunnin still refused to meet his eyes, "Look at me." Kakashi demanded.

"But you don't have your mask on!"

Kakashi burst out laughing at the indignant protest; he couldn't help it. This, of course, did nothing to calm the furious heat in the Iruka's face. "Maaa, Iruka-sensei, you're the first person to avoid getting a look at me without my mask." He paused, "Especially after you've seen my face."

"I didn't! I wasn't paying attention to what you looked like."

"You weren't looking at my face when you were checking it for wounds? Or how about when I was kissing you?" Kakashi chuckled. _I was doing more than kissing you, but I'm still amazed that you didn't throw me out of your house this morning, and I don't want to tempt my luck._ He'd discovered that Iruka had a fiery temper when provoked and had been the recipient of at least three pillows to the upside of his head in the short time that Iruka'd been his touchstone simply because he'd said something about the chuunin's pajama pants riding a little low around his hips.

"It's not that funny," Iruka grumbled.

"Well, I'll stop teasing when you look at me without blushing." He watched Iruka close his eyes and redirect the blood from his cheeks. The hind part of his brain happily supplied a small thought about whether or not that trick would work with other parts of his body, but Kakashi ignored it and moved while Iruka's eyes were still closed so that his nose almost touched the other man's.

When the dark eyes opened, Kakashi wrapped a hand behind Iruka's head and claimed his mouth in a very intense and needy kiss. He watched as the other man's eyes grew increasingly wider and the blush returned in force. Despite obvious embarrassment, though, Iruka leaned forward into the kiss, his mouth opening slightly to allow Kakashi to deepen it. The jounin pulled away only after Iruka's eyes had slid almost closed and a slight moan had escaped his lips. He stepped back, giving Iruka a minute before he began to talk.

"You weren't 'just there,' you were there because I asked for you. Even though last night was…what it was, try to keep in mind that I knew it was going to happen eventually, and I had that in mind when I asked for a touchstone." He was trying to make Iruka understand that he had opened himself up to the chuunin more than he had with any other person. A quick screw was one thing, but breaking down entirely in front of someone else was a completely alien idea for most shinobi. He had known, when he'd started all of this, that it would happen at some point, and he desperately wanted Iruka to realize that he had specifically picked him. Iruka stared at him with a rather dumbfounded expression. "Maaa, at least you're looking at me. Although I can't decide if it's in terror or shock at how handsome I am..." The mismatched eyes curved up happily as he smiled.

Iruka blinked, "Sorry, Kakashi-sa…Kakashi." He corrected himself, rushing through the name. "I just wasn't expecting that."

Kakashi's heart sank, and he turned away from the other man, mentally slapping himself for hinting at the possibility that he…. _Baka!_

"I meant the kiss!" Iruka yelped, and Kakashi wondered how much of his disappoint had shown on his face. "I wasn't expecting the kiss!" The faded blush returned full force, and Iruka buried his face in his hands. "Your food's getting cold you should eat." He mumbled through his fingers.

Kakashi chuckled but sat. "So back to the 'don't look at Kakashi' game?"

"No, this is the 'stop the foolish blushing' game." Iruka corrected into his hands.

"Can I play too?" Kakashi said brightly. "How about I try to make you blush, and you try not to?" He rose and leaned forward, tugging at Iruka's hands. "I think I'd be good at this game, but you've got to let me see your face."

Iruka swatted his hands away. "How about you eat your breakfast so that you can go turn in your report, and I can get to class. Preferably without looking like a tomato."

Kakashi cocked his head to one side, pursing his lips in thought. "I think it's more of a cherry."

He never knew that Iruka could have such deadly aim with one hand over his face when he was armed with just a cube of ham.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

sooooo, like?

I will explain the word ashele (pron: ahhshaylay in my demented mind), it'll be a part of the story...


	7. Normality

I just realized that most of my writing is situations and not dialogue. Probably because I suck at writing dialogue. This chapter is basically a filler chapter, don't kill me. I've tried to make it as good as possible, but I'm pretty sure it sucks.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka slouched back against one of the wood blocks that lay scattered around the training ground, sighed and checked his watch again. It was completely unlike Anko to be this late. The one, and only time, he'd been late to training with her happened because his students had strung him up from the ceiling when he'd fallen asleep during a pop quiz. He'd had to give them an A+ on stealth – they'd managed to truss him up and get him a good three feet off the ground before he woke up – but an F- on originality. He chuckled at the memory, wondering how his students would react if they knew that their teacher had pulled the exact same prank on his sensei when he'd been in the Academy.

And even though he'd been late for a good reason, Anko had thoroughly trounced him that day, turning him into a veritable pincushion of senbon. It had taken him a good 4 hours that night to get them all out.

The soft crackling of leaves behind him was the only warning he got, and Iruka whirled, wrenching his shoulder back when he realized that she was making no move to attack him, and narrowly avoided burying his fist in her face.

He leapt backwards, trying to put as much space between himself and her before she attacked. And, even though she didn't move to follow him, Iruka would not be surprised if this was a new tactic to lull him into a false sense of security and make him let his guard down.

Anko shook her head quietly, "No more."

Iruka blinked, still half-expecting an attack. "What?"

"No more, Iruka-kun. I can't teach you anything more; Ibiki feels the same way." She grinned happily. "I think Shizune has a few things that she wants you to learn, but we're done."

Iruka was shocked. Granted, Anko had cancelled their last two lessons, both of which had immediately followed Kakashi's mission where they'd - Iruka could feel himself start to blush at even the thought of what had happened in the shower that night. He had to wonder if that particular mission had been a kind of 'final exam' for his training as a touchstone.

Honestly, he was amazed that they thought he'd passed. He certainly wasn't sure that he had any clue as to what he was doing. But Kakashi was alive, and as sane as he had been – for what that was worth – so he couldn't have messed up to badly. At least that's what he kept telling himself.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The bright moon cast deep shadows across the entire village when he returned, and he unconsciously skipped from dark patch to dark patch even though he was back in Konoha. The mission had taken a full week to complete, but he had come out of it nearly unscathed – a few bumps and bruises, but nothing to worry about. Even so, Kakashi was glad to be home.

The window slid open with an easy touch, and he dropped lightly to the floor. He sniffed at the air as he strode down the hallway. _Was that…pork?_ Whatever it was, it smelled amazing, and he was certainly going to raid the fridge in the morning.

He found his pants after a quick search through the drawers, stripped off his uniform and left it in a pile on the floor. At least the majority of his uniform was free of blood and he wouldn't get yelled at in the morning for staining the floor. He settled down on top of the covers, smiling softly at the incoherent mumbling his presence elicited from the figure already in the bed. Iruka was sprawled on his stomach across his side of the bed, chin pillowed on his arm and hair strewn across the pillow.

Kakashi propped himself up on his hand and gently brushed back the strands of hair that partially covered the chuunin's face off his forehead before running his thumb over the rough scar the cut across Iruka's nose. He stirred slightly, wrinkling his nose against the touch and giving his head a little shake. The jounin dropped his head down on the pillow and watched the expressions play across the other man's sleeping face, and he slowly relaxed into the peaceful feeling that always seemed to envelop him when he came home to his touchstone's apartment.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The painfully bright rays coming through the open window woke him, and he stretched out his arm, hoping to encounter the warm body that had occupied that space during the night, even though he knew that Iruka was already up and gone. It was a weekday, after all, and Iruka had to be at the Academy to teach.

As he stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his hand across his unmasked face, he quite nearly missed the note pinned under the bowl of fruit on the table. Kakashi had been shocked by the fruit the first time he saw it; if it had been in his house, it would have been rotten before he'd gotten a chance to eat it, but he had to admit, the prospect of fresh oranges the morning after a mission as almost as good as getting to crawl into bed with Iruka. Almost.

He scooped up the note on his way to the refrigerator, pausing briefly to read it as he scanned over the note.

'Kakashi, Had to get to class. There's food in the fridge left over from last night; help yourself.' Here there was a pause; a darker blotch of ink left from Iruka hesitating as he wrote the note. 'Lunch? Iruka.'

The jounin grinned and checked the time - less than an hour until Iruka's lunch break. He replaced the container of food he'd pulled out of the fridge and closed it, heading for the shower.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka was sitting cross-legged on the floor, cleaning training kunai when he arrived. Kakashi could see from the door that the somewhat sharp blades were completely covered grass, mud and some other stuff that he wasn't sure he wanted to identify. The chuunin heaved an enormous sigh, cocking his head to one side as he scrubbed more vigorously at the one he was holding.

"Maaa, Iruka, you look like you could use some help." Kakashi leaned against the doorframe, studying the look of frustration on his touchstone's face.

The chuunin looked up sharply and then smiled tiredly at him. "Kakashi-san." Iruka jerked back when Kakashi appeared, crouched in front of him, mask pulled down around his neck, and caught his chin. "A-a-ano…?"

"Kakashi." He insisted, again. He'd managed to convince Iruka to drop the honorific, but it seemed that he had to remind the chuunin every single time.

"Are you alright?" Iruka asked. "I mean, after the mission last night. You seemed to be okay this morning, and I had to leave. I just wanted to make sure…"

"I'm fine!" Kakashi released his hold on the chuunin's face and scooped up a kunai, settling own across from Iruka.

"I'm glad." Iruka whispered, and Kakashi found himself staring at the lowered eyes. _Did Iruka…really…_ A somewhat snappy comment brought him out of his thoughts. "Are you going to clean that? Or do you just feel more comfortable sitting around with a kunai in your hand."

Kakashi tried to fight the juvenile leer that threatened to cross his face, he really did. But in the end, he was fighting a losing battle.

The cleaning rag striking him in the face took him by surprise, though, "Oh, grow up!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kakashi landed on the roof outside the Hokage's office, peering in through the window. He and Iruka had just finished lunch, both sprawled on the floor of Iruka's classroom, cleaning kunai with one hand and eating with the other. He hadn't even noticed how fast time had passed until Iruka had finally thrown him out just before his students had returned. He'd stood outside the door, listening in on Iruka's lecture and intermittent scolding of the kids. He'd actually thought about leaving a note to invite Iruka for dinner, but realized right before he'd started writing it that Iruka had only invited him for lunch because he was worried about Kakashi's reaction to the mission. Would Iruka have invited him without that excuse hanging over his head?

The question scared him more than he cared to admit, which was why he was back here, outside the Hokage's window.

Tsunade was passed out across her paperwork – a typical sight – and Kakashi figured he should probably wake her up before Shizune found her and beat the snot out of her. He stopped several feet from her desk and waited for her to wake up. He knew better than to shake the Gondaime awake; he would likely be thrown through several walls before she realized that he was a friend.

Tsunade blinked blearily up at him before leaping to her feet and trying to straighten the papers she'd been using as a pillow. "Kakashi-san? What can I do for you?" She moved around to the front of her desk and waved a sake bottle at him. He spread a gloved hand, shaking his head.

"Another mission?" Did he really sound that hopeful? He hadn't intended to.

Tsunade glared at him. "Didn't you just get back?"

"Hai, hai. Last night." Kakashi smiled disarmingly at her.

"And how long was it?"

"A week." He got the sneaky suspicion that she was patronizing him.

"Kakashi." She sounded decidedly like she was talking to a child. "You've have been in and out of the village on missions for the past two months." She stepped up to him and slapped a hand across his forehead. "Your chakra is almost completely depleted. If I send you out again there's no telling what will happen. So," She dropped her hand from his face and returned to sit at her desk, folding her hands together and resting her chin on them. "Until you return to normal levels, you're going to stay right here in the village."

Kakashi gaped at her as she waved him away.

"I don't want to hear anything from you about another mission until I call you back in, is that clear?"

He grumbled as he turned around and slouched towards the door. In retrospect, he wished he'd beat a hastier retreat – he would have missed Tsunade's not-so-helpful advice.

"If you want to see Iruka that badly, just go see him. You don't need to use missions as an excuse to see your touchstone."

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Baka, baka, baka. _He scolded himself as he made his way down the now-familiar hall. _Why are you here? Why did you listen to her? What on earth possessed you to think this…?_

His thought was completely cut off when he reached the doorway to the bedroom, and Kakashi went through a brief internal argument – whether Iruka was going to kill him for invading the chuunin's personal space and how badly he wanted to…. Finally, he couldn't resist. _I'll leave before he wakes up in the morning. _Kakashi promised himself. _At least I can have tonight._ Kakashi slipped beneath the blankets and cuddled up against Iruka's side, leg thrown over the chuunin and arm wrapped tightly around his waist. He could feel the other man's back rise and fall against his chest with every breath, and he slowly relaxed into the wonderful warmth.

"…nice…" The other man exhaled on one of his deep breaths.

Kakashi lifted himself up so that he could peer at Iruka's face. His touchstone's eyes were still closed. "Iruka?"

"…feels good, ashe…" He murmured.

Kakashi nestled back down against Iruka's side. _Ash-e. _He sounded out quietly in his head. _What on earth does that mean?_

OOOOOOOOOOO

The unfamiliar, heavy weight resting on his body brought Iruka out of his deep slumber even before the alarm clock went off. He managed to lift his head enough that he could look down the length of the bed and recognize the pale arm draped over his hips. _Kakashi. _He shouldered the jounin's weight and managed to roll over without waking the other man up. Once he was on his back, Kakashi settled down onto his chest, burying his nose in Iruka's neck. The chuunin coughed in an attempt to suppress a giggle, but Kakashi's breath was tickling the side of his neck.

The jounin continued to cling to him in his sleep, tangling their legs together under the covers. Iruka gently stroked the soft, silvery hair, slowly trying to shake the sleep-induced fog for his head.

Suddenly the neurons in his brain started firing again, reminding him that Kakashi had come back from his mission the day before, and therefore had no real reason to be in his apartment. "Wha…?"

"Mmmm…" The lips moved against his neck, causing the blush to spread furiously across his face and neck. "Ohayo, Iruka."

"K-k-kakashi-san, what are you…?" Iruka choked out and turned a deeper scarlet when Kakashi pulled himself up so that he was nose to nose with Iruka.

"Ka-ka-shi." He sounded out his name.

"Kakashi." Iruka repeated. "But you still didn't answer my question."

Kakashi seemed to come fully awake finally, and he pulled instantly away from the startled chuunin. "I'm sorry."

Iruka scrambled, trying to disentangle himself from the sheets. "Kakashi…!" The jounin had already disappeared down the hall. Iruka flung himself from the bed, racing after Kakashi.

The curtains whipped out into the living room from the stiff wind blowing in through the open window. Iruka collapsed onto the couch, resting his head in his hands. _Kakashi, ashe… I didn't…. _He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, trying had not to think about how wonderful he'd felt when he woke up this morning in Kakashi's arms.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

wow, this sucks. sorry guys. will probably rewrite

Next chapter will be the last. Let me know what you think!

yes, the word changed, yes there is a reason, yes it will be explained in the next chapter


	8. Deal

Ahh, we have reached the end. I just want to say, thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed and watched me for this story. You have no idea how much it brightens my day to hear from all of you.

Please enjoy the last chapter. I have truly enjoyed writing this.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"It's a long mission." Tsunade had said, "Close to four months, at the least." At ten weeks in, Kakashi couldn't help but remember the way she'd tilted her head to one side and studied his face, trying to peer through the invisible mask that was solidly in place over his visage.

He was running away; she knew it, and he knew it. But that hadn't stopped him.

He stepped to one side as a fist slammed past his face, and his opponent fell past him with a startled yelp. Kakashi dropped his knee into the small of the other man's back, twisting his arm up behind his back and kicking his feet apart to keep the man from moving. The dirt shoved up against his face muffled the snarled curses and insults, but Kakashi got the general gist. Still, he only released his hold when the man finally admitted that he'd lost.

Though the onlookers called him to join them for dinner, Kakashi turned away from all of them, dusted his hands off, and moved back to the practice ring he'd been sparring in before the newly-defeated man had interrupted him.

The mission required him to do what ANBU-trained shinobi did best – spy. He'd joined the organization at the very bottom and was slowly fighting his way to the top. The Konoha elders had reason to believe that this rag-tag bunch of guns-for-hire were involved with the Akatsuki, doing the sort of odd jobs that were below those people, but that had to happen for whatever reason. Tsunade hoped that, by learning everything that this group was doing, they might be able to piece together what the Akatsuki were up to.

But until he reached the trusted top echelon, he could do nothing but wait and continue to survive every challenge. He remained aloof from the others because it kept them from learning his true potential, and therefore avoiding the fight altogether, and gave him a snooty air that was making the long-time members of the gang really want to beat the snot out of him.

Ten weeks to reach the middle. Perhaps another ten to gain the top? Kakashi tilted his head back, spinning the kunai around his fingers, and wondered if Iruka had – or would – even notice he was missing.

OOOOOOOOOOO

_10 weeks earlier_

"Ano, Iruka-sensei? Are you alright?"

Iruka looked up sharply from his intense contemplation of the bowl of ramen in front of him. "Eh heh. I'm fine. Really!" He insisted when Naruto gave him a look of disbelief.

"If you say…."

"Naruto!" An irritated shout rang out from the street outside, and Naruto flinched.

"Training." He yelped out, scooping ramen noodles into his mouth. "Sai and Sakura and I were supposed to meet an hour ago. Gomen, Iruka-sensei!" He disappeared in a cloud of dust, but Iruka could still hear him calling after Sakura, "Sakura-chan! I'm sorry, I was…." The unmistakable sound of a fist burying itself in someone's face echoed back to him.

The owner smiled down at him as he fished out the money, "Kid's gonna eat you out of house and home."

Iruka managed a weak smile; his mind was far from the current conversation, "I really don't mind." As he walked down the crowded street, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and buried his chin in the collar of his vest. _I should go find him and explain about what I said._

Though it terrified him more than he would ever admit, he missed Kakashi.

"Iruka-kun." A voice called out from behind him, and he turned around in time to see Shizune sprint slightly to catch up with him. "You look….hassled."

Before his training, Iruka would have just shrugged it off, but on too many occasions, early on when she had just started working with him, she'd somehow coaxed some of his deeper worries about not being able to cut it as a touchstone.

So, against his better judgment, he started telling her in halting sentences that he had done something to upset the jounin, that he hadn't seen Kakashi since, and that he was planning on finding the other man right now

"Iruka." Shizune grabbed hold of his arm, yanking him to a stop and pulling him around to face her. "Kakashi-san's on a mission. He left a few days ago." She peered up into Iruka's paling face. "We thought you knew."

"How long?" Iruka whispered.

"Four months, maybe more." Iruka pulled his arm from her grip, rubbing his hand across his face and turning away from her "Iruka?"

"It's alright." He breathed. "It's alright." He walked away from her, ignoring the fact that she called after him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

The older man folded one hand across his chest, raising the other to stroke at the graying beard that covered his chin, "You have beaten my best fighter."

Kakashi didn't bother to offer a response and just leaned against the wall, arms folded. The plain black cloth that covered his eye seemed to meld with the material covering the lower part of his face and left almost all of his face in shadow.

"Sit." The man said, and Kakashi folded himself down on the low cushion. "We have a job that someone of your caliber could easily complete with very little difficulty."

The hairs standing up on the back of his neck was the only warning he got that something about this whole situation was very, very wrong. Even so, he didn't manage to completely avoid the first rain of weapons that hailed down around him, and when he came to a stop on the roof of the building, his hand dropped to cup the wide wound that pierced his thigh.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The chalk between his fingers violently shattered into a million pieces. Iruka stared at it, not knowing what to think and barely hearing the mixed reaction from his students – from questions as to whether he was okay to cheers that the last piece of chalk had broken, so the lectures were over for the day.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Kakashi shuddered, dropping to one knee. The pain creasing his side could only be caused by broken ribs, but he was more occupied with the open wound in the right-center of his chest. Blood dripped from between the fingers of his good hand that were clutching the edges of the gash together.

After several short breaths, he managed to push himself to standing and forced one foot in front of the other. _I'm going to die._ The words entered his subconscious, but his ANBU mentality asserted itself. The mission would only be completed if he returned home with the information. No matter what.

No matter what, he had to complete the mission.

No matter what, he had to get home.

As his mind shut down, his brain functioned more and more on images. In the darkness behind his eyes he saw only Iruka.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Someone was…knocking on his door? Iruka groaned and rolled over, reaching for the clock to check the time. The faintly glowing numbers swirled in front of him, but he could at least make out the first one. Three.

His heart faltered. In a village of shinobi, late night visits never bore good news. He staggered down the hallway, one foot still asleep from the strange position he'd contorted himself into before he'd managed to fall asleep that night. For some reason, sleep had not come easily, and he'd tossed and turned enough to throw all the blankets off the bed before his eyes finally closed and sleep claimed him.

The hallway beyond his door was dark enough that everything looked like it had been painted in shades of gray and black. But the lean figure that stood just on the other side of the threshold was unmistakable, despite the fact that he was dressed in civilian clothes, and Iruka choked back a relieved cry.

Kakashi's eyes curved upwards and his lips moved beneath the mask as if he was trying to form words. Iruka leaned forward to make them out, and only just barely caught the falling body as the jounin's knees folded. "Kakashi!"

He sifted the other man's weight closer into his chest, reaching for the door handle. He'd seen Kakashi wear himself down to the bone; the other man had collapsed on several occasions before this. But he froze when he saw the thick blood dripping from Kakashi's limp hand and finally noticed the pool of blood on the floor outside his door. "Kakashi?!" He called out, tilting the jounin's head back so that he could study the normal and uncovered sharingan eye, both of which were hazed with pain.

Iruka half-dragged, half-carried the lifeless body into his living room, dragging his hand along the wall to stabilize both of them. He was talking incessantly to the jounin who gasped out incoherent words in response. Iruka was only worried with keeping the other man awake. If Kakashi slipped away from him, with his injuries as bad as they were, he was likely to not survive.

He kicked the coffee table out of the way without even thinking as he lowered Kakashi to the carpeted floor. He tried to ignore the blood that coated his arms and chest. "Stay with me…Ashe, onegai. Stay with me."

"Pup!" Iruka hadn't even noticed Pakkun following Kakashi. Or perhaps the pug had simply appeared when he felt Kakashi's overwhelming pain. It really didn't matter.

"Get Tsunade!" Iruka shouted at him, ripping at the shredded clothes so that he could see the wounds more clearly. He'd somehow thought to hit the light switch on his way into the room, and when he pulled the jounin's shirt free, he thanked every deity he could think of that he didn't need to leave Kakashi's side to turn on the lights.

"But…" Pakkun started.

"Go get her!" Iruka scanned down the pale, scarred body searching not only for the deepest, but the most dangerous wounds as well. He would not waste his time healing a wound when another one might be steadily killing him.

The gashes on his legs had missed the arteries and had already started clotting, so he clasped his hands over the gapping wound in Kakashi's chest forcing the healing chakra down through them. "You're going to be just fine, ashe. Don't worry." He tried for a reassuring voice, but he knew, deep down, that this kind of wound was way out of his training and experience.

Kakashi drew a long, shuddering breath and stopped breathing.

"Kakashi? Kakashi!" Iruka dropped his head down to the jounin's chest, beginning to shake when he couldn't feel any heartbeat. "No! Stay with me!"

He slammed his hands down, pushing rhythmically with all his weight. His lose hair swung back and forth across his cheeks with every compression, and his hands continued to glow as he poured chakra through them into the icy body beneath. "Don't do this!" He dropped his mouth to Kakashi's, forcing air into his lungs. "Damnit! DON'T YOU DO THIS!"

"Please." He whispered. He wanted to collapse across the other man's chest, to shake him, beg him, anything to make him breath again, but he forced himself to continue compressions.

Tsunade and Shizune raced up the stairs and through the open door. Shizune clapped a hand over her mouth when she saw the trail of blood leading down the hallway into the living room. Iruka was breathing sharply with every thump on Kakashi's chest, practically shining with the amount of chakra he was throwing out into the room. Tsunade landed hard on her knees beside the ANBU's body, slid her hand underneath Iruka's, stopping him from burning out the last of his chakra, and started healing Kakashi. "Once he's stable, we'll move him to the hospital."

OOOOOOOOOO

"Tsunade-sama…." Sakura burst through the front door of the hospital and fell silent.

"Hey, ugly, either go in or stay out, but it doesn't make sense to just fill the doorway." Sai pointed out from behind her.

"Iruka-sensei?" She whispered.

Iruka sat at the end of the hall on the floor, his knees folded up against his chest and his arms stretched out over them. He was staring blankly at the ground in front of him, not even bothering to wipe the blood trickling down his face. His hands, arms, clothes, everything was streaked in that unmistakable shade of red.

All three of them stared at him. Sakura had woken both of them up because Tsunade had called her for an emergency that involved Kakashi. Why Iruka was there, and in that state, was unfathomable.

The brown eyes slowly transferred from the floor up to them, and Sakura could not believe how empty and scared the chuunin looked.

"I…" Iruka started, but was cut-off by Tsunade stepping through the door.

"Tsunade-sama!" Sakura started, but her master didn't even turn towards her.

"Come with me." She gestured towards the door, and Iruka pushed himself off the floor, following her through the doors.

OOOOOOOOOO

"We've healed the wounds, and he's breathing again." She told him quietly.

Iruka could not avoid hearing the silent 'but' in that statement.

"He's in a coma."

OOOOOOOOOOO

Iruka pulled the chair away from the side of the bed and sank into it, resting his face in his hands. In the relatively short time he'd spent with the jounin, he'd never seen Kakashi look so still.

_Talk to him._ Tsunade had suggested it, but as Iruka opened and closed his mouth over and over again, he realized that he had no idea what to talk about. What would someone in a coma want to hear?

_Kakashi'd cocked his head to one side, toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, and had watched Iruka through the mirror. What's it from? He'd asked, pointing at the deep scar that creased the chuunin's side._

Iruka shifted, pressing his fingers against the scar hidden under his shirt and started to talk, "You wanted to know where this came from."

He spoke until he was hoarse, through the entire night. Once he finished the first story, he prattled on about whatever came to his mind – about how he missed his parents, about Naruto's class when they were younger, about anything.

The sun broke the horizon, and he coughed, voice cracking. Kakashi never even stirred, and only the gentle beeping of the heart monitor and the rise and fall of the jounin's chest convinced him that Kakashi was still alive.

"You know why I agreed to this? You did something I never could. You made Naruto into a real shinobi, and you believed in him more than I ever did." He snorted sadly. "The Sandaime had to beat me over the head with it before I managed to put away my anger at him. And even then, he surpassed me with the one jutsu he learned on the night he graduated. I cannot ever repay you for what you've done for him. But with this whole touchstone business, I might be able to make a tiny dent in that debt. But I still could never fathom what possessed you to ask for me. I can't…" His voice caught in his throat.

After a moment of silence, Iruka shook his head, smiling up at the peaceful face. "You know I've never had to share my apartment with anyone? It was so hard to get used to hearing things in the other rooms at night and realizing that it's not someone who's trying to break in. Granted, you were _always_ injured, so those noises still meant that I had to get up, but…" He paused, swallowing hard. "But I…liked…having you there. I hated waiting between missions because I missed having you hog the sink, and…and eat my food and leave your porn all over my place. That morning when I woke up in your arms, I…_never_… wanted to kick you out. I knew…I-I hoped that I knew why you were there. I hoped you missed being with me as much as I missed being with you, but I wanted, no, I needed to hear it from you."

And even though he fought it, his eyes filled with tears that spilled over and coursed down his cheeks. He wiped at them with shaking hands, "I'm so sorry, ashe, I should have apologized. I should have told you when I had the chance. Please, please….." The last three words were barely audible as he buried his face in his hands and sobbed. "Don't leave me."

Gentle fingers wrapped around his chin, pushing the hands away and brushing away the stream of tears. "It can't possibly be worth crying over someone like me."

Iruka's eyes widened as they met the barely-opened, mismatched ones, and he leapt to his feet, almost turning the chair over. "I'll get Tsunade-sama." Kakashi's hand transferred to his wrist to keep him from leaving. "Kakashi-san?"

"Kakashi." The jounin coughed as he corrected his touchstone.

"I should get…"

"Tell me what it means." Kakashi insisted.

"Wha-what?"

"Ashe." The word sounded strange in Kakashi's accent. "You've called me that several times now. So what does it mean?"

Iruka fidgeted, but didn't attempt to pull his hand from Kakashi's. "Ano, I…"

"I need to hear it from you."

"It means beloved." Iruka turned his head away from Kakashi, blushing softly. "Or something like that. It doesn't really translate very well."

Kakashi gently pulled the chuunin back towards him until Iruka perched on the side of the bed. "You saw goodness in Naruto, whether the Sandaime prodded you or not. You looked past the demon sealed inside him. I knew, no matter what, no matter what I'd done or what I might do, you would always see what was good in me. That's why I asked for you." He smirked, "And of all the people I could have fallen into bed with after a mission, you were definitely at the top of my list."

Iruka blushed furiously, muttering something about perverted jounins.

"You know, that day, I'd actually asked Tsunade for another mission so that I could come home to you."

"Baka." Iruka scolded softly and folded his arms across his chest, but a soft knock on the door let them know that they were no longer alone before he could continue. Iruka turned, slightly hampered by the fact that Kakashi still had a tight hold on his arm. "Tsunade-sama. I was just…"

She crossed the room and pressed her hand against Kakashi forehead. "You gave us quite a scare there. Comas are strange things, and I'm very glad you saw fit to wake up. You'll have to stay in the hospital for a few more days, just so we can keep an eye on you, but there's no reason you shouldn't recover." She made her way towards the door. "It's shift change now, so I'm sending everyone home, including your team." She grinned back at him. "They're out there sleeping in the hallway."

Iruka slipped off the bed and started to follow her, but only made it a few steps before the tension on his wrist stopped him.

"Stay with me." Kakashi asked, sounding rather plaintive.

Tsunade waved her hand at both of them. "Don't worry about it. Touchstone's have a prerogative to stay with their ANBU." She left with a faint smile brushing across her lips.

Kakashi inched his way to one side of the bed, moving as well as he could, and patted the sheets until Iruka crawled up next to him. The chuunin settled down on top of the sheets, with his body pressed up against Kakashi's side and his head resting gently on his uninjured shoulder. He didn't dare put any more weight on the jounin's body for fear that he would reopen half-healed wounds, but he had to admit that he had missed the feeling of another person's warmth and was fully prepared to take advantage of it now.

After several minutes of silence, Iruka suddenly let out a deep groan of frustration, but before Kakashi could form a coherent sentence – he was, after all, enjoying the comforting warmth of this touchstone's arms – the other man spoke. "Do you have _any_ idea how hard it's going to be to get your blood off my walls and out of my carpet?"

Kakashi titled his head up, "You could always move in with me, Iruka-sensei." One dark eyebrow arched upward, and Kakashi coughed in embarrassment. "My apartment's not _that_ messy."

Iruka nestled his head deeper into Kakashi's chest. "How about you help me clean my place up, and in return, I'll let you stay with me – mission or no?"

"Hmmm." His arms tightened around the narrower frame, "Deal."

OOOOOOOO

Omake

"What?" Iruka asked and, for some unknown reason, looked moderately annoyed that Kakashi had been leaning in the doorway and studying him like a museum piece for the past fifteen minutes

"Maa, you see." Kakashi perched on the arm of the couch and leaned into Iruka's personal space. "You are sitting on the most comfortable part of the couch."

"It's my couch." Iruka pointed out.

"Our couch." Kakashi corrected. He was having to do that less and less frequently as Iruka had started thinking more and more about them as a couple. Then he put on his best pouting face and bent forward so that his head was between Iruka's face and the papers he was trying – unsuccessfully – to grade. "But I'm _really_ tired. I must still be suffering from chakra depletion."

"Then go to sleep." The chuunin suggested, waving in the direction of the bedroom. Kakashi rolled his eyes; Iruka was completely missing the point.

"But I want to lay on the couch."

"Fine." Iruka stood, shuffled his papers, and glanced back when Kakashi jumped into the recently vacated spot with much more enthusiasm than his self-proclaimed exhaustion would have allowed him to have. The jounin waited patiently as his ANBU set the papers down in an attempt to organize them. Kakashi knew from several months experience now that the other man was about to bail and head for the kitchen, a safe haven if Kakashi was only interested in sleeping on the couch.

"Something's missing…" Kakashi mused, grinning when he managed to catch enough of Iruka's attention to keep him from immediately leaving. "Hmm... Ah! I know!" He chuckled when Iruka realized two seconds to late that he should have made a last ditch leap over the coffee table to escape, but Kakashi had already grabbed his touchstone around the waist and pulled him down into his lap. "There much better."

Iruka scrambled around in Kakashi's arms, the tips of his fingers just brushing against the edges of the papers. Kakashi leaned back into the couch cushions to keep them just out of Iruka's reach. "I need to grade those!" He protested. "I have work to do you know." Iruka twisted around and jabbed his finger into Kakashi's chest.

"Actually," Kakashi pulled a little harder and spilled the other man across his body so that they were both lying down the length of the couch. "As my touchstone, you are allowed – no, required – to slack off and take care of me when I come back from a mission."

"You came back from that mission three days ago!" Iruka would have looked much more indignant if he wasn't straddling Kakashi's thigh with one leg hanging off the edge of the couch and both hands planted firmly in the cushions on either side of Kakashi's head. "And that's only if you need to be taken care of. Now let me up so I can get my papers."

"Maaa, I'm trying to flirt with you and you're ignoring me!" Kakashi whimpered.

The heat rose to Iruka's cheeks, as it always did when Kakashi suggested that he had any sort of feelings for the dark-haired chuunin. "I'm not ignoring you…I'm just not paying attention to you."

"Wha... why not?!"

"Because whenever I let you distract me with those kinds of things, I always wind up buck naked on the bed, with your fingers god-knows-where and…." The chunnin froze, choking slightly on his words and tried to backpedal to get away from evil leer sneaking its way up Kakashi's face.

"I-ru-kaaaaa…. Have you been looking at my books again? I think there are some nice illustrations that show exactly what you're talking about"

Iruka struggled to free himself from the death grip. "I... I... I need to get my papers."

"Alright, I'll compromise. I'll let you get your papers if you'll sit with me while you finish grading them." Iruka stared at him with a totally untrusting look. "Come on." Kakashi wheedled. "You didn't resist this much last night, and that was a waaay more than just snuggling on the couch." He dodged just in time to keep Iruka's hand from colliding with his face, but in the process he, released his hold on Iruka's waist and the chuunin slipped away, moving to stand more than an arm's length away from the couch.

Iruka slowly gathered the papers, and Kakashi pouted in his general direction. "Alright," He finally let out an exasperated sigh, "If you promise to let me do my work, I'll sit on the couch with you."

"What are my chances of getting you to curl up with me if I don't?"

"Zero." Iruka cocked his head to one side. "In fact, I might have to throw your ass out the window or lock you in the bathroom until I'm done."

"Then I guess I have to be good," Kakashi pushed himself into a sitting position. Iruka looked him over warily before taking it and finally allowed Kakashi to draw him back onto his lap. Iruka leaned back against the jounin and drew his knees up so he'd have something to rest his papers on.

In the end, Kakashi couldn't keep his hands from wandering, but he figured that Iruka really didn't mind since he voiced no protests. Fingers gently worked the shirt off even as he pressed the other man's body down into the couch. Their contact was unbroken until Kakashi tried to shift their weight to get Iruka's pants off and wound up tumbling them both into the coffee table, scattering the papers all over the room for the second time that night.

Iruka sat on the floor in the middle of the storm of papers, shirtless and with his pants pulled partway down his hips, his face rapidly changing from shadowed lust to overt irritation as he seemed to realize just exactly what had happened and how quickly Kakashi had managed to distract him. He snagged most of the papers out of the air and stalked down the hall. Even from the living room, Kakashi could hear the unmistakable sound of the bolt sliding into place in the bathroom.

"Well, that backfired." He told the room in general, but was not surprised when he got no reaction from the curtains, and made his way to the bedroom so that he could throw himself on the bed that smelled of Iruka even if it wasn't graced by his touchstone's presence.

He woke not too long after to Iruka slipping into bed with him and nuzzling his face against Kakashi's before kissing him hesitantly. Kakashi was more than willing to take the invitation for what it was.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sleep had claimed the chuunin, but Kakashi remained awake, spooning himself against Iruka's back and running his fingers through his soft hair.

"Do you know how many bad decisions I've made in my life? When my father died, I decided that I would never be like him, and I became a horrible person. When Rin was in trouble, I refused to help her, and Obito died because of that. I sealed Orochimaru's curse on Sasuke with a seal that relied on his own willpower. I taught him chidori. I believed he would make better choices than I ever could." Kakashi pulled Iruka closer. "When this all started, I thought that I had finally made one good decision."

Iruka muttered unintelligibly in his sleep and wove his fingers through Kakashi's. The jounin smiled and laid down, waiting for sleep to claim him.

"Now I'm sure."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

End!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you so much for reading! Some of you might have noticed the slightly odd reference to a wound on Iruka's side. This is not the one that he got protecting Naruto, but it's basically a set up for the next fanfic I'm planning on writing, which will be very Iru-centric (though with some Kakairu, of course, which is why I wanted to link it in with this one)

I know there are some mistakes in this that I didn't catch. Please let me know if you see anything so I don't look totally stupid! And review even if you hate it! I can't get better unless you let me know!

Sunlight through Leaves


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